IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Higher education can be funded in several ways including the following; 1. All costs are paid by the government. 2. All costs are paid by the student. 3. All costs are paid by the student using loan from the government that must be paid after graduation. Discuss the benefits of each option. Which one is the best?

#education #costs #government #student #loan #graduation #option
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, there are many controversies all over the world about the resources to pay for tertiary
education
Use synonyms
. They are talking about three paramount versions,
in
Correct word choice
and in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay I'll discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
all of them. First of all, the point of view
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
means that the
government
Use synonyms
 have to pay all the
study
Use synonyms
expences
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
. I am convinced, it's the wrong suggestion, and I have a fine example from my own. I was born in the Soviet Union, and all of the
education
Use synonyms
,
includes
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
 higher
education
Use synonyms
, was free. So there were a lot of people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 wanted to
study
Use synonyms
 at
institute
Correct article usage
an institute
show examples
 or university,
ever
Correct your spelling
even
show examples
 if they
haven'
Wrong verb form
hadn't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
 had an aptitude or enough knowledge for
this
Linking Words
.
Finally
Linking Words
, there were entire generations of people who
hadn'
Verb problem
didn't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
liked
Wrong verb form
like
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 and didn'
t
Use synonyms
 really new to do it. The second option,
all
Add a missing verb
is all
show examples
 the costs of an
education
Use synonyms
paying
Wrong verb form
paid
show examples
 by the student. It's a version of the
majoriry
Correct your spelling
majority
 of countries. I believe, that
this
Linking Words
 version creates inequality in the population. We have to remember, that it's a huge gap between
money
Use synonyms
 and
study
Use synonyms
 abilities. It means, not only reach children have an aptitude to
study
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
Israel
Add a comma
Israel,
show examples
 there are many
Jewish
Replace the word
Jews
show examples
fro
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 Ethiopia, who are
regreating
Correct your spelling
regretting
recreating
 that they
hadn'
Verb problem
didn't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
an
Add a missing verb
had an
show examples
 opportunity to
study
Use synonyms
 ever at school because of the lack of
money
Use synonyms
. So, in my humble opinion,
this
Linking Words
posibility
Correct your spelling
possibility
 is not working in the right shape. And
finally
Linking Words
, the third one - funds
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
expences
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
government
Use synonyms
, and return
money
Use synonyms
 after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
graduation (or
work
Use synonyms
 in the place which the
government
Use synonyms
 want you to
work
Use synonyms
 in). As an example, there is
such
Linking Words
option
Correct article usage
an option
show examples
 in Israel - to
study
Use synonyms
 Nursing, with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 loan of 80% of all
expencsies
Correct your spelling
expenses
, and 3 years
Use synonyms
work
Change preposition
of work
show examples
 in the hard and unpopular hospital department after graduation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, you can cancel
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 program with the
returning
Replace the word
return
show examples
 of all
money
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I am convinced, that the
government
Use synonyms
 which
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to have a
high skill
Replace the word
highly skilled
show examples
 population, have to help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher
education
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by anastasia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports the main argument of the essay and ends with a concise summary sentence to reinforce the main point.
task achievement
Pay careful attention to grammar and spelling, as mistakes can distract the reader and obscure your message. This will improve the clarity and accuracy of your essay.
task achievement
Expand on your examples with more detail. Incorporate more data or specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear structure with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant and help to illustrate your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Socio-economic background
  • Social mobility
  • Higher educated populace
  • Government budget constraints
  • Taxation issues
  • Personal responsibility
  • Financial stake
  • Inequity
  • Enrollment
  • Immediate financial burden
  • Future earnings
  • Long-term debt
  • Graduate
  • Personal stake
What to do next:
Look at other essays: