Nowadays both men and women spend much money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
it has been a common trend that both male and female parties focus more on
beauty
compared to past
generation
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generations
show examples
. In my
essay
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essay,
show examples
I will discuss
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
behind
this
and possible outcomes. Mainly,
from
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apply
show examples
mass media and social media emphasize more on
beauty
tips in every body part both internally and externally.
Moreover
, doctors encourage
people
to have a proper skin rate routine
Correct word choice
and encourange
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encourange
Correct your spelling
encourage
people
to spend more on
beauty
care.
Addinitionally
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Additionally
, technological advancements in
beauty
Correct article usage
the beauty
show examples
industry led to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
wide range of
beauty
products
and treatments. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, hydra facials, laser hair removal
and
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apply
show examples
botox and many more are famous
around
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among
show examples
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
generation.
However
,
this
can bring
boh
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both
show examples
positive and negative outcomes
such
as
,
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apply
show examples
visiting to
salon
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the salon
a salon
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,
spa
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or spa
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can bring
relaxtation
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relaxation
to
daily
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a daily
show examples
stressful life.
For instance
,
relaxing
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a relaxing
show examples
massage and having a good facial
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
a treatment and
on the other
hand
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hand,
show examples
leading
Wrong verb form
lead
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to
relaxing
Correct article usage
a relaxing
show examples
mind. Spending too much money on these
also
Add a missing verb
is also
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not suitable and there are places which
sells
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sell
show examples
cheap
products
to customers and
then
people
have to spend more money to
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
cured. Apart from that imitating other
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
skin care
Correct your spelling
skincare
show examples
and using
products
not suitable to the skin can
worse
Correct your spelling
worsen
show examples
the situation. In conclusion, spending money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
beauty
trends become popular today
due to
various reasons and using all the skincare
products
which are suitable and proper
standarda
Correct your spelling
standards
standard
can bring
relaxing
Add an article
a relaxing
show examples
and healthy lifestyle.
Submitted by pererahimasha10 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that each sentence supports this main idea. Organizing your essay into clear paragraphs will make your arguments more coherent.
task achievement
Work on improving the accuracy of your language. For example, ensure that you’re using the correct form of words (e.g., ‘encourage’ instead of ‘encouranged’).
task achievement
Use more varied and complex sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency. This will help improve both coherence and cohesion and task achievement scores.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and provides a clear response to the topic, discussing both reasons and outcomes related to the increase in spending on beauty care.
task achievement
Examples such as 'hydra facials, laser hair removal, and botox' help illustrate the points being made.
coherence cohesion
The essay begins with a clear introduction and ends with an appropriate conclusion, which contributes to a logical structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • media influence
  • idealized beauty standards
  • disposable income
  • economic prosperity
  • technological advancements
  • beauty products and services
  • cultural shifts
  • social contexts
  • personal health and wellness
  • self-care routines
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