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Band 2.5

Many cities have installed cameras in public places in order to reduce crime. However, some people think that those cameras restrict our privacy. Do you think the advantages of this system outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #cameras #places #crime #people #privacy #system
In many towns,
cameras
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been
istalled
Correct your spelling
installed
 in public areas in case of safety issues. Many believe that recording is against
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
private life.
This
 essay argues that
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the benefits. Public
cameras
 should exist in cities,
however
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however,
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 they should be restricted
in
Change preposition
to
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 specific areas. Even though some of the private gardens are in the angle of the
cameras
'
eyesigts
Correct your spelling
eyesight
eyesights
. When
people
 know that they are possibly
watched
Add a missing verb
being watched
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 someone
elses
Correct your spelling
else
else's
, they feel unsafe,
instead
 of secure.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
people
 can swim in their pools, without the
pyhschology
Correct your spelling
psychology
 of watching by someone.
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
show examples
 it is against the
people
Change noun form
people's
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 rights.
On the other hand
, if it is used for
people
's
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
 it can help decreasing in crime rates. It can be
deterrent
Correct article usage
a deterrent
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
potential criminals. Because they
are tend
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tend
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 to
suicide
Verb problem
commit
show examples
 a crime
,
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apply
show examples
 when they are sure they can not be found.
Nevertheless
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Nevertheless,
show examples
 residents should decide
wether
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
 they need
cameras
 on
theri
Correct your spelling
their
the
 streets. In conclusion, even
thoug theren
Correct your spelling
though there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 advantages of public
cameras
,
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
outweighted
Correct your spelling
outweighed
 the benefits.
Submitted by xxxx17 on

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grammar
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance readability. For instance, 'cameras has been istalled' should be 'cameras have been installed'.
evidence
Provide clear and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For example, a particular case where public cameras helped reduce crime could add weight to your claims.
structure
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences in the paragraph contribute to this main idea. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
content
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
structure
The introduction clearly outlines your stance, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • surveillance
  • deterrence
  • apprehension
  • infringement
  • omnipresence
  • law enforcement
  • evidence gathering
  • privacy concerns
  • surveillance state
  • unwarranted surveillance
  • psychological impact
  • paranoia
  • crime investigation
What to do next:
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