IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999
#unemployment #rates #japan #march
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A glance at the provided line graph depicts the
level
 of
unemployment
 in the US and
Japan
 over a period of 6 years.
Overall
,
although
 the highlighted
level
 decreased sharply in the
Us
Correct your spelling
US
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,
this
level
 increased steadily in
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
 over
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 period shown.
In addition
, in 1993, the highest
level
 of
unemployment
 occurred in the
Us
Correct your spelling
US
show examples
 a staggering 7%
in contrast
 the mentioned rate was merely 2.5% in
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
. The thriving of
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 in terms of reducing
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
level
 can be seen.
This
level
begun
Add the auxiliary verb
began
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with
Change preposition
at
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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7% in 1993 and fell to just
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
5% in 1999. In stark contrast,
this
 rate experienced
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 from 2.5% to over 5%. Both countries had some fluctuations during
this
 period. it is noticeable that prior to 1998 the
level
 of
unemployment
 in the
Us
Correct your spelling
US
show examples
 was considerably higher than
Japan
Change preposition
in Japan
show examples
however
Japan
 overtook in terms of
unemployment
level
 in 1998.
Submitted by speher2000behroozifar on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words level, unemployment, japan with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Unemployment rate
  • Trend
  • Comparison
  • Period
  • Sharp increase/decrease
  • Correlation
  • Economic policies
  • Technological advancements
  • Global economic conditions
  • Consumer spending
  • Social welfare
  • Public sentiment
  • Predictions
  • Economic strategies
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