IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999
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A glance at the provided line graph depicts the
level
Use synonyms
 of
unemployment
Use synonyms
 in the US and
Japan
Use synonyms
 over a period of 6 years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the highlighted
level
Use synonyms
 decreased sharply in the
Us
Correct your spelling
US
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
level
Use synonyms
 increased steadily in
Use synonyms
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
 over
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 period shown.
In addition
Linking Words
, in 1993, the highest
level
Use synonyms
 of
unemployment
Use synonyms
 occurred in the
Us
Correct your spelling
US
show examples
 a staggering 7%
in contrast
Linking Words
 the mentioned rate was merely 2.5% in
Use synonyms
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
. The thriving of
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 in terms of reducing
Use synonyms
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
level
Use synonyms
 can be seen.
This
Linking Words
level
Use synonyms
begun
Add the auxiliary verb
began
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
7% in 1993 and fell to just
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
5% in 1999. In stark contrast,
this
Linking Words
 rate experienced
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 from 2.5% to over 5%. Both countries had some fluctuations during
this
Linking Words
 period. it is noticeable that prior to 1998 the
level
Use synonyms
 of
unemployment
Use synonyms
 in the
Us
Correct your spelling
US
show examples
 was considerably higher than
Use synonyms
Japan
Change preposition
in Japan
show examples
however
Linking Words
Japan
Use synonyms
 overtook in terms of
unemployment
Use synonyms
level
Use synonyms
 in 1998.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words level, unemployment, japan with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Unemployment rate
  • Trend
  • Comparison
  • Period
  • Sharp increase/decrease
  • Correlation
  • Economic policies
  • Technological advancements
  • Global economic conditions
  • Consumer spending
  • Social welfare
  • Public sentiment
  • Predictions
  • Economic strategies
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