Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some
students
have the tendency to
study
more than
one
subject meantime,
while
another group of
students
believe that they should concentrate completely on their main field I subscribe to the notion that the second view is more rational
although
universities would be able to make some exceptions for some ace
students
. some university
students
bear the notion that
students
have to
study
one
field for have following reasons. First of all, most of the subjects including quite a number of engineering, medicine surgery and so forth are tough and suppose the entire attention and time of
students
while
most of them have practical training and write essays. Another reason is if
students
study
in their field favoured and become adept in it, they will be effectful for their host countries and will earn better.
students
believed that they reserve the right to
study
more than
one
subject on have following grounds. they have thought if
students
studied a range of subjects at the same time
such
as mechanics
along with
quantum, quite a number of opportunities would be opened for them in future or would have a chance to apply for master's or doctorate in more subjects and countries after finishing whole semesters,
besides
some of them talk about justice, it is possible that
students
graduated from high school had the not appropriate condition to seek their wish like not having enough money, obligation of parents, not existing especial course during that time
such
as artificially intelligent, but terms are provided these days to
study
. as outlined above, not only the first notion but
also
the second
one
is generally true, I think the best way is for universities to provide conditions in which top
students
are capable of studying in correlated fields.
Submitted by pooya.sheytoon2 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay needs a clearer introduction and conclusion to make the structure more evident to the reader. A good introduction states the topic and presents the writer's viewpoint clearly, while a strong conclusion reinforces the main points and the writer's opinion.
task achievement
The essay relies on vague language and generalizations. To improve task response, include specific examples and elaborate on points made. For instance, discussing a particular engineering field or medical training would provide clearer context.
coherence cohesion
Ensure ideas are logically connected. The essay jumps between points and doesn't always flow smoothly from one idea to the next. Use linking words and phrases to create a more coherent argument.
coherence cohesion
Avoid redundancy and ensure each paragraph contributes a new point to the argument. Some ideas are repeated without adding new value.
task achievement
The essay introduces both viewpoints on whether university students should focus solely on their main subject or study multiple subjects.
task achievement
Some valid reasons are given for each viewpoint, showing an attempt to discuss both sides of the argument objectively.
task achievement
The writer's stance is clear, and they try to offer a nuanced solution by suggesting universities make exceptions for top students.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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