Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behaviour. Others say that the amount of time spent watching television influences their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People have different views about whether
children
's behavior
is more influenced by the nature of Change the spelling
behaviour
content
or the duration of Correct article usage
the content
television
watching. This
essay will delve into/ discuss both viewpoints before presenting a personal opinion.
Proponents of the view that the quantity of time
spend
watching Change the form of the verb
spent
television
is more influential argue that excessive screen time
has far-reaching consequences on children
's overall
well-being. Children
by prolonged television
viewing are following a sedentary lifestyle, because of reduction
in their physical activities, contributing to health issues, Correct article usage
a reduction
such
as obesity and heart attack. The sheer amount of time
glued to the screen can also
result in social isolation. If children
spend a long time
in front of the TV, it can limit their opportunities for meaningful interactions with peers and family members. This
reduction in face-to-face communication can hinder essential social skills, such
as effective communication. For example
, a child who spends hours watching television
instead
of playing with friends may struggle to build and maintain a relationship, resulting to
a sense of loneliness. Change preposition
in
However
, the impact of content cannot be overlooked.
Advocates who have the view of the more influence of content assert it can profoundly shape children
's attitudes and actions. When they are exposed to programs
filled with violent or inappropriate material, this
can lead to aggressive behaviors
. Change the spelling
behaviours
For example
, children
who frequently watch violent cartoons may become desensitized to violence, viewing it as an acceptable means to solve problems. Actually, it can blur the line between acceptable and unacceptable actions, making them more prone to mimic these behaviors
in real life. Change the spelling
behaviours
Conversely
, educational programs
can foster positive attributes such
as empathy. By showing cultural programs
, for instance
, are more likely to broaden their horizons about different perspectives and cultures which can facilitate making relationship
in the interconnected world and enhance empathy towards other cultures.
In conclusion, I believe that messages conveyed through TV Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
programs
can have lasting
impact on Add an article
a lasting
children
's behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
,
because even minimal exposure to harmful materials can have lasting negative effects. Remove the comma
apply
However
, the amount of time
should be monitored by parents to prevent its implications.Submitted by pooya.sheytoon2 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay presents both views effectively and gives a clear personal opinion, which fulfills the task requirements well. To enhance your task response, you could provide more specific examples and further elaborate on each point a bit more.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure and your argument progression is clear, but there are occasional awkward phrasings. To improve coherence and cohesion, refine transitions between sentences and ensure that each idea flows smoothly to the next.
introduction conclusion present
You provide a clear introduction that outlines the essay's direction and a conclusion that summarizes your stance effectively
logical structure
You present two sides of the argument and back them up with logical explanations, which helps in maintaining a balanced discussion
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!