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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#men #women #education #britain #three #periods #fulltime #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar chart illustrates
comparison
Add an article
a comparison
the comparison
show examples
 of both genders
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
countinued
Correct your spelling
continued
continue
 their
education
 in three different decades whether it part-
time
education
 or
ful-
Correct your spelling
full-time
time
education
.
Overall
, it clearly shows that both males and females of
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
students
 got the highest average in all 3 decades compared to
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
students
. The
numbers
 of
females
Change the noun form
female
show examples
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
students
 increase respectively through 30 years from almost 750
thousand
 in
year
 70/71 , 850
thousand
 in
year
 80/81 and 1100
thousand
 in 90/91.
In addition
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
females
Fix the agreement mistake
female
show examples
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
students
also
 increased and started at very low
numbers
 by less than 100
thousand
then
 it jumped sharply more than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
double in
year
 80/81
then
 it
countiued
Correct your spelling
continued
to grow to reach
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
aproxmaty
Correct your spelling
approximately
 300
thousand
.
Part
Add a hyphen
Part-time
show examples
time
education
 for males figure began high
exactly
Change preposition
at exactly
show examples
 1000
thousand
 in 70/71
then
 dropped by 200
thousand
then
 went back up in
early
Change the article
the early
show examples
 90s to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
900
thousand
.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 figures in
ful
Correct your spelling
full
time
 went different it started 100
thousand
 in
70s
Change the article
the 70s
show examples
then
 the
numbers
 got higher to be 300
thousand
 in
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
 90/91.
Submitted by may.al.zemami on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words education, time, students, numbers, thousand, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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