Many people today are worried about young children using video games. What problems might these games cause for children and society as a whole? How could these problems be reduced?
With the rise in technology,
video
games
have grown in popularity in the past decades. They are most common with children
and teenagers, who have a lot of leisure time
as compared to an adult. This
essay will address the problems these games
might cause
and their impact on society
as a whole.
Firstly
, long exposure to video
games
can cause
harm to one's eyesight and can weaken it over time
. To elaborate, the blue ray emitted by screens has proven to cause
eye damage. Furthermore
, video
games
can be a distraction to children
which can easily become an addiction which can cause
them to get distracted from work. Moreover
, video
games
could also
expose children
to violence and inappropriate content from an early age, which could make them more impulsive. For instance
, I have seen children
pay for in-game cosmetics without having
their parents' consent, which has made them mad.
Unnecessary verb
apply
Lastly
, video
games
can cause
society
to be more lazy and inactive as video
game addiction prevents people from interacting with the physical world. People who are addicted to video
games
often find it hard to articulate their feelings, which could make them anti-social and have a huge impact on society
.
Parents can prevent these problems by simply restricting their children
's screen time
and encouraging them to play sports and make friends. Parents can also
introduce their children
to different hobbies which can be of use later.
To conclude
, I think that as a society
, we should spread more awareness of the downsides of video
games
and encourage people to limit their play time
and have a healthy social life.Submitted by satyarthverma88 on
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task response
Your essay presents a clear response to the task, addressing both potential problems and solutions. However, make sure to elaborate more on each point and provide additional examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions from one idea to the next. Using linking words and phrases can help maintain the logical flow of your essay.
task response
To strengthen your task achievement, consider developing your ideas more fully. For example, elaborate on how playing sports or different hobbies can benefit children as alternatives to video games.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, making your essay well-structured and easy to follow.
task response
Your essay addresses both the problems associated with video games and potential solutions, showing a balanced approach.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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