IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#individuals #environment #governments #companies #difference
It is true that government and multi-national Organizations can play a
conductive
Correct your spelling
conducive
show examples
 role
to Prevent
Change preposition
in preventing
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
. From
perspectives
Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
show examples
, I completely disagree with
this
 view.
To begin
 with,
people
 are more closely engaged
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the
environment
 rather than authorities or any type of organizations. Individuals can take some necessary
stepts
Correct your spelling
steps
 to protect
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
Firstly
,
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 could
be conserve
Change the verb form
be conserved
show examples
 from contamination, If
peopler
Correct your spelling
people
show examples
 are able to reduce
wast
Correct your spelling
waste
show examples
 and
recycling
Wrong verb form
recycle
show examples
 it
according to
 their need.
Secondly
, tree plantation, which is the key solution for environmental pollution
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would be implemented completely when
people
 eagerly
persuing
Verb problem
pursue
show examples
 themself to plantation.
For example
, In
Banglades
Correct your spelling
Bangladesh
,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
decleared
Correct your spelling
declared
 July 1st as a day
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 tree plantation as
people
 are willingly encouraged to plant
for
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to
show examples
 Preserve
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.
Besides
, there are many things to
done
Add a missing verb
be done
show examples
 by
people
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 improve their circumstances.
Such
 as Sustainable transportation use can able to reduce air pollution which
grav
Correct your spelling
is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 major part of environmental contamination. To clarify that, inhabitants can use
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
,
rickshaw
Fix the agreement mistake
rickshaws
show examples
 and any other kind of
behicle
Correct your spelling
vehicle
 rather
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transport which can
couse
Correct your spelling
cause
Co2
Correct your spelling
CO2
show examples
 emission.
In addition
, it will be more conductive, If environmental issues
are affix
Change the verb form
are affixed
are affixing
show examples
 to the
accademic curiculam
Correct your spelling
academic curriculum
.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
youngstare
Correct your spelling
young people
 are able to acknowledge
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 matter.
For instance
, teaching about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental issues
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 can
arise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
amonge
Correct your spelling
encourages
kidds
Correct your spelling
kids
 to plant trees in the schools and their home
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
.
furthermore
,
acquaintance
Change preposition
with acquaintance
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the greenhouse effect
people
 will be more conscious
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, though it is
crutial
Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
 to take some necessary action by the government and companies
it
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 terms of budget, I firmly believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 any kind of decision would not be
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
 fruitfully
where
Correct word choice
if
show examples
 there is no
cosideration
Correct your spelling
consideration
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 local
people
.
Submitted by shifaakther555 on

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task achievement
Work on grammatical accuracy and clarity. There are several spelling mistakes and awkward phrases that need correction.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. The ideas presented are good but could be connected more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant and specific examples such as the tree plantation day in Bangladesh.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear position on the topic.
task achievement
Effort is made to support the main arguments with examples and reasoning.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental awareness
  • sustainable practices
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • waste reduction
  • conservation
  • ecosystem
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • responsibility
  • leadership
  • legislation
  • investment
  • collaboration
  • systemic change
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