At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young aults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Advantages - more creativity in the employment , less strain on health service Disadvantages - older people jobs replacement
#time #population #countries #aults #people #situation #creativity #employment #strain #health #service #jobs #replacement
In
Change preposition
At
current
time, the population of some nations include more young Correct article usage
the current
adults
instead
of the older people
. I believe the advantages of many young adults
outweigh the drawbacks because although
young people
replacing older adults
positions at the workplace, young Change noun form
adults'
adult's
adults
also
bring creativity and less strain
on the health
service
.
The main disadvantage of having more number of
young Correct quantifier usage
apply
adults
in some nations is that young people
replacing the seniors
positions at the jobs. Most of the Change the noun form
senior
jobs requirement
are physical fit Fix the agreement mistake
job requirements
as well as
fast learner in a short period of time . Therefore
, it is hard for many companies to hire old adult
people
because they get easily exhaust
after physical Wrong verb form
exhausted
task
, and need more time to learn a new task ,Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
,
young Remove the comma
apply
adults
are more likely energetic and fast learner
which helps Fix the agreement mistake
learners
business
to run successfully without any Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
intruptions
. Correct your spelling
interruptions
interruption
For example
, in Canada , Food
industry Correct article usage
the Food
hire
more young Change the verb form
hires
people
as compared to adult
people
because of their shart
Correct your spelling
sharp
mind
, Fix the agreement mistake
minds
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
adult
people
keep on suffering in
unemployment. Change preposition
from
However
, I believe that young adults
bring creativity in
life and less Change preposition
to
strain
on the health
service
.
There are two main advantages of more young adults
is that
they bring new ideas to the workplace and put less Verb problem
:
strain
on the health
system. As we know, young adults
are always in rush
Add an article
a rush
of improving
themselves by changing traditional methods to new Change preposition
to improve
system
, Fix the agreement mistake
systems
also
Correct word choice
and also
bring
new ideas for Wrong verb form
bringing
better
life. Add an article
a better
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
this
, young adults
put less strain
on the health
service
system by staying fit and healthy where as
Correct word choice
whereas
adult
people
suffers
from Change the verb form
suffer
health
issues more. For example
, in Canada , most of the people
who are suffering from health
issues are older people
because of lack
of nutritious intake food . Correct article usage
a lack
Therefore
, the number of young people
are
relatively more as compared to the older Correct subject-verb agreement
is
people
.
In conclusion, in some countries , the number of young people
are
more as compared to older Correct subject-verb agreement
is
people
,and this
nations have more benefits in terms of less Change the determiner
these
strain
on health
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
as well as
new ideas at workplace
.Correct article usage
the workplace
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on
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general
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to improve the clarity of your ideas.
coherence
Improve the logical flow by ensuring each paragraph clearly supports the main argument.
task response
Use more relevant and specific examples to enhance your arguments and make them more persuasive.
introduction
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the main argument.
support
Main points are generally supported, which makes the essay persuasive to an extent.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.