Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the government of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Providing better health care, education and
economic
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economics

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for
population
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the population
a population

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is significant for improving the
country
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. Some people
thinks
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think

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that the
goverment
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government

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of the developed nation should take action
for helping
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to help

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the developing
country
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in some ways. Personally,
this
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view containing valid reasons is true. The reasons
to
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for

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support
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are to be discussed. There can be no doubt that having good health, education and
financial
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finances

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can produce high quality population for being the
support
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for
Correct article usage
a develop

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develop
Wrong verb form
developed

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb develop. Consider changing it.

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country
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.
For instance
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, comparing
between
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apply

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uneducated and graduated person, the former can provide more
improment
Correct your spelling
improvement

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for
city
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the city
a city

The noun phrase city seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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because they have more
knowlaged
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knowledge

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and potential to develop their city with their ability in
vrious
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various

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ways.
However
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, if the poor
country
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cannot provide all these factors
their
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to their

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citizens, the
goverment
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government

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of
improved
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the improved
an improved

The noun phrase improved country seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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country
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should take responsibility for improving
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
others
Correct quantifier usage
other

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nations. they can help those areas in many ways,
for example
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,
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by rising
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by rising

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rising
Correct your spelling
raising
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funds for them, and
givining fundimental
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giving fundamental

The words givining fundimental seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

factors that they can use
for
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to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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improve their
country
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.
On the other hand
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, always helping
this
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all
country
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can lead to the lack of
abillity
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ability

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to stand by themselves. They might be used to
with
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apply

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the
Correct article usage
apply

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support
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

money from the richer
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Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries

It seems that country may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Additionally
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, the giving
country
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migth
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might

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face
with finance
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financial

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issues that occur from using
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country's
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the country's

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money
for
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to

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heping
Correct your spelling
helping

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others
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. Not only
finace
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finance

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problem, but citizens can
also
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not agree with
this
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action, using the money from
people
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people's

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tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes

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for helping
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to help

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others
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

insteate
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instead

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of improve their own
country
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. To
summerize
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summarise

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everything that has been started, the
support
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from the richer nation can bring
improment
Correct your spelling
improvement
improvements

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to the poorer
country
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.
In contrast
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, it
also
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leads to problems and conflicts in the
country
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, which help
others
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.
Although
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this
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action
contain
Change the verb form
contains

The verb contain does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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some drawbacks
but
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apply

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it still
make
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makes

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sence
Correct your spelling
sense

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and
have
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has

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adventages
Correct your spelling
advantages

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that
pursuade
Correct your spelling
persuade

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me to agree with
this
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opinion.

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task achievement
Improve grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance clarity and comprehension. For instance, ensure that each sentence conveys a complete and clear idea, avoiding fragmented or run-on sentences.
task achievement
Expand on examples and evidence to strengthen the argument. Providing more specific details will make your points more convincing and relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically. Use clear topic sentences and paragraphs that fully develop one idea before moving on to the next. This will make the essay easier to follow and more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Develop a stronger conclusion that succinctly summarizes your main points while reinforcing your stance on the issue. This will leave a more lasting impression on the reader.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position on the issue, providing a solid foundation for your argument.
task achievement
You have identified and addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Some logical connections between the need for improved health, education, and trade and the responsibility of richer nations are present.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows good potential with thoughtful points and a clear intention to discuss the topic comprehensively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • essential
  • development
  • poorer nations
  • government
  • richer nations
  • responsibility
  • assistance
  • capacity
  • resources
  • collaboration
  • effective
  • sustainable
  • shared
  • non-governmental organizations
  • empowering
  • local governments
  • communities
  • investing
  • infrastructure
  • capacity-building
  • financial aid
  • technical expertise
  • knowledge transfer
  • improvement
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