Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the government of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Providing better health care, education and
economic
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economics
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for
population
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the population
a population
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is significant for improving the
country
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. Some people
thinks
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think
show examples
that the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
of the developed nation should take action
for helping
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to help
show examples
the developing
country
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in some ways. Personally,
this
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view containing valid reasons is true. The reasons
to
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for
show examples
support
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are to be discussed. There can be no doubt that having good health, education and
financial
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finances
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can produce high quality population for being the
support
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for
Correct article usage
a develop
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develop
Wrong verb form
developed
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country
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.
For instance
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, comparing
between
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apply
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uneducated and graduated person, the former can provide more
improment
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improvement
for
city
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the city
a city
show examples
because they have more
knowlaged
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knowledge
and potential to develop their city with their ability in
vrious
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various
ways.
However
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, if the poor
country
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cannot provide all these factors
their
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to their
show examples
citizens, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
of
improved
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the improved
an improved
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country
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should take responsibility for improving
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others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
nations. they can help those areas in many ways,
for example
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,
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by rising
show examples
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
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funds for them, and
givining fundimental
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giving fundamental
factors that they can use
for
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to
show examples
improve their
country
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.
On the other hand
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, always helping
this
Linking Words
all
country
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can lead to the lack of
abillity
Correct your spelling
ability
to stand by themselves. They might be used to
with
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
support
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money from the richer
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country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
.
Additionally
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, the giving
country
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migth
Correct your spelling
might
face
with finance
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financial
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issues that occur from using
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country's
Correct article usage
the country's
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money
for
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to
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heping
Correct your spelling
helping
others
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. Not only
finace
Correct your spelling
finance
problem, but citizens can
also
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not agree with
this
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action, using the money from
people
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people's
show examples
tax
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taxes
show examples
for helping
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to help
show examples
others
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insteate
Correct your spelling
instead
of improve their own
country
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. To
summerize
Correct your spelling
summarise
show examples
everything that has been started, the
support
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from the richer nation can bring
improment
Correct your spelling
improvement
improvements
to the poorer
country
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.
In contrast
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, it
also
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leads to problems and conflicts in the
country
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, which help
others
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.
Although
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this
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action
contain
Change the verb form
contains
show examples
some drawbacks
but
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apply
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it still
make
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makes
show examples
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
and
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
adventages
Correct your spelling
advantages
that
pursuade
Correct your spelling
persuade
me to agree with
this
Linking Words
opinion.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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task achievement
Improve grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance clarity and comprehension. For instance, ensure that each sentence conveys a complete and clear idea, avoiding fragmented or run-on sentences.
task achievement
Expand on examples and evidence to strengthen the argument. Providing more specific details will make your points more convincing and relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically. Use clear topic sentences and paragraphs that fully develop one idea before moving on to the next. This will make the essay easier to follow and more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Develop a stronger conclusion that succinctly summarizes your main points while reinforcing your stance on the issue. This will leave a more lasting impression on the reader.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position on the issue, providing a solid foundation for your argument.
task achievement
You have identified and addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Some logical connections between the need for improved health, education, and trade and the responsibility of richer nations are present.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows good potential with thoughtful points and a clear intention to discuss the topic comprehensively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • essential
  • development
  • poorer nations
  • government
  • richer nations
  • responsibility
  • assistance
  • capacity
  • resources
  • collaboration
  • effective
  • sustainable
  • shared
  • non-governmental organizations
  • empowering
  • local governments
  • communities
  • investing
  • infrastructure
  • capacity-building
  • financial aid
  • technical expertise
  • knowledge transfer
  • improvement
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