Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the government of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Providing better health care, education and
economic
for Replace the word
economics
population
is significant for improving the Add an article
the population
a population
country
. Some people thinks
that the Change the verb form
think
goverment
of the developed nation should take action Correct your spelling
government
for helping
the developing Change preposition
to help
country
in some ways. Personally, this
view containing valid reasons is true. The reasons to
Change preposition
for
support
are to be discussed.
There can be no doubt that having good health, education and financial
can produce high quality population for being the Replace the word
finances
support
for Correct article usage
a develop
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
country
. For instance
, comparing between
uneducated and graduated person, the former can provide more Change preposition
apply
improment
for Correct your spelling
improvement
city
because they have more Add an article
the city
a city
knowlaged
and potential to develop their city with their ability in Correct your spelling
knowledge
vrious
ways. Correct your spelling
various
However
, if the poor country
cannot provide all these factors their
citizens, the Change preposition
to their
goverment
of Correct your spelling
government
improved
Add an article
the improved
an improved
country
should take responsibility for improving others
nations. they can help those areas in many ways, Correct quantifier usage
other
for example
, Change preposition
by rising
rising
funds for them, and Correct your spelling
raising
givining fundimental
factors that they can use Correct your spelling
giving fundamental
for
improve their Change preposition
to
country
.
On the other hand
, always helping this
all country
can lead to the lack of abillity
to stand by themselves. They might be used to Correct your spelling
ability
with
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
support
money from the richer country
. Fix the agreement mistake
countries
Additionally
, the giving country
migth
face Correct your spelling
might
with finance
issues that occur from using Replace the word
financial
country's
money Correct article usage
the country's
for
Change preposition
to
heping
Correct your spelling
helping
others
. Not only finace
problem, but citizens can Correct your spelling
finance
also
not agree with this
action, using the money from people
Change noun form
people's
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
for helping
Change preposition
to help
others
insteate
of improve their own Correct your spelling
instead
country
.
To summerize
everything that has been started, the Correct your spelling
summarise
support
from the richer nation can bring improment
to the poorer Correct your spelling
improvement
improvements
country
. In contrast
, it also
leads to problems and conflicts in the country
, which help others
. Although
this
action contain
some drawbacks Change the verb form
contains
but
it still Remove the conjunction
apply
make
Change the verb form
makes
sence
and Correct your spelling
sense
have
Change the verb form
has
adventages
that Correct your spelling
advantages
pursuade
me to agree with Correct your spelling
persuade
this
opinion.Submitted by dondollaraus on
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task achievement
Improve grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance clarity and comprehension. For instance, ensure that each sentence conveys a complete and clear idea, avoiding fragmented or run-on sentences.
task achievement
Expand on examples and evidence to strengthen the argument. Providing more specific details will make your points more convincing and relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically. Use clear topic sentences and paragraphs that fully develop one idea before moving on to the next. This will make the essay easier to follow and more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Develop a stronger conclusion that succinctly summarizes your main points while reinforcing your stance on the issue. This will leave a more lasting impression on the reader.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position on the issue, providing a solid foundation for your argument.
task achievement
You have identified and addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Some logical connections between the need for improved health, education, and trade and the responsibility of richer nations are present.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows good potential with thoughtful points and a clear intention to discuss the topic comprehensively.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example