Many people believe that children who grow up with little money are more equipped to deal with the problems life throws at them, in comparison to the kids who are born in wealthy families. This essay aims to substantiate this assertion.

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The belief that

children

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who grow up in a poor family are trained to face any obstacles in life is based on different examples worldwide.

For instance

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children

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who live in developing countries not only tolerate food shortages but

also

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accept what their parents do for them. In Africa,

children

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even harvest to collect crops for their feeding.

On the other hand

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children

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who live in wealthy and affluent families. Those offspring have anything they want, and their parents,

for example

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, try to bring them the best quality food,

Although

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they still resist eating and are highly selective without spending any effort to get what they like.

Thus

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, it is obvious that the more you give, the more the child will be spoiled and will not depend on himself. In conclusion,

children

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must learn that not everything is available at all times. There are some days with ups and downs, which is the typical life pattern.

Moreover

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, they can depend on themselves,

for example

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, in preparing their food, which will have a great impact on their future.

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task achievement

Your main points are somewhat clear, but try to ensure each paragraph develops a single idea more thoroughly. For instance, in your first body paragraph, focus solely on the hardships faced and how these shape resilience. Elaborate with more specific examples or studies.

coherence cohesion

While the essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, some sentences feel abrupt or slightly disconnected from the main argument. Use more transition words like 'therefore' or 'however' to improve the flow.

task achievement

The essay directly addresses the prompt and offers relevant examples to substantiate the argument. This shows a good understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Both paragraphs begin with clear topic sentences, guiding the reader on what to expect. The conclusion neatly summarizes the essay’s main points, reiterating the importance of resilience and self-dependence.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

177 words

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Many people believe that children who grow up with little money are more equipped to deal with the problems life throws at them, in comparison to the kids who are born in wealthy families. This essay aims to substantiate this assertion.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

It is common nowadays for each member of family to have their own peace of modern technology. Some people think that this will lead to a break down in the family relationships and communication to what extent do you agree or disagree.

Robots and artficial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do yo think this will have a positive or negative on society

Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects. Other people say this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Art classes, like painting and drawing are as important as other subjects, so they should be compulsory subject in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.