In some countries, there is an ever-increasing proportion of population among children who are 15 and younger. What are the effects of this in those countries?
It is a fact that some countries have
the
population Correct article usage
a
exlosion
among youngsters Correct your spelling
explosion
who
aged 15 and under. The boom in Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
new births and teenagers has cons and pros Correct article usage
apply
affects
in communities. In Correct your spelling
effects
this
essay, I will write about creating new careers
opportunities and establishing a strong future Change the noun form
career
country
as a positive side while
the luck
of Correct your spelling
lack
food
resources
refers as
a negative aspect of having Change preposition
to
children
explosion.
In
the one hand, there are significant benefits of increasing the Change preposition
On
children
number. First of all, it will enchance
Correct your spelling
enhance
the
careers opportunities. To elaborate more, the government's Correct article usage
apply
effors
will develop the foundations of Correct your spelling
efforts
effort
education
system to fit Add an article
the education
for
all students and build new Change preposition
apply
schools
buildings for Change the noun form
school
Correct article usage
the up-coming
up-coming
generation. Correct your spelling
upcoming
Thus
, it going to be a great chance to appear
new jobs for Verb problem
find
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
such
as being a teacher. Furthermore
, having more children
who are 15 and younger means a crucal
positive point to Correct your spelling
crucial
establish
a strong future Wrong verb form
establishing
country
. To explain, the next generation has an open-minds
for multifaceted subjects , like Correct your spelling
open mind
engneering
work, Correct your spelling
engineering
penting
, cooking, and teaching. So, these mixing potentials will increase diverse sides in Correct your spelling
painting
nation
, Add an article
the nation
for example
, economy
, Correct article usage
the economy
education
system Add an article
the education
as well as
tourism. For example
, before
ten yearsChange preposition
apply
, China
had over boom in a child's number, but now it Rephrase
ago, China
consider
Wrong verb form
is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
a
Correct article usage
the
highest
powerful Rephrase
most
country
over
the world in industry and Change preposition
in
economy
rate of money Replace the word
economic
due to
the rise Change preposition
in explotion
explotion
among youngsters.
Correct your spelling
explosion
exploration
However
, in
the other hand, there Change preposition
on
ia
a few negative Correct your spelling
is
affect
Change to a plural noun
affects
in
Change preposition
on
rising
child Correct article usage
the rising
populotion
. Correct your spelling
population
Firstly
, the lack of food
resources
is one main darckness
side. Because the number of Correct your spelling
darkness
children
grow
up sharply, the Change the verb form
grows
resources
of food
will decrease that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
due to
a lot of domen
in it.
Correct your spelling
women
To conclude
, over population
could Correct your spelling
overpopulation
has
negative and positive affect Change the verb form
have
such
as ameliorate
Wrong verb form
ameliorating
Correct article usage
the financal
financal
incomes of the Correct your spelling
financial
country
and establish
new jobs for the people, Wrong verb form
establishing
whereas
the disadvantages
is a faw Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
food
resources
.Submitted by sheikha1996mohammed on
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grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors. For example, 'It is a fact that some countries have the population exlosion among youngsters who aged 15 and under' should be 'It is a fact that some countries are experiencing a population explosion among youngsters aged 15 and under.'
content development
Ensure all ideas are fully developed and supported with specific examples or explanations. Some points lacked depth. For instance, 'the lack of food resources is one main darckness side' needs more elaboration and specifics.
cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas seamlessly. For example, 'because' and 'as a result' can be used to show cause and effect clearly.
content
The essay presents relevant ideas, making a clear attempt to cover both positive and negative effects of a growing young population.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it well-structured.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.