IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
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The charts give information about the proportion of
water
Use synonyms
 used for different
purposes
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 in six
areas
Use synonyms
 around the world. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, in most
areas
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
used
Add a missing verb
is used
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 for agricultural uses,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 in some
areas
Use synonyms
most
Add an article
the most
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 popular purpose of
water
Use synonyms
 use is industrial. In South America, Africa, Central
Asia
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 and South East
Asia
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 the percentage of
water
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 used for agricultural uses had
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 significant share at least 70%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in these
Use synonyms
areas
Add a comma
areas,
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water
Use synonyms
 used for industrial
purposes
Use synonyms
 ranged between 5% and 12%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in Central
Asia
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 and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
 used for domestic
purposes
Use synonyms
 is at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 level at 7%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of
water
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 used for industrial uses in North America and Europe had the largest share at around 50%,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
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 agricultural uses of
water
Use synonyms
 stood at 39% and 32% respectively.
Water
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 used for domestic
purposes
Use synonyms
 in these
areas
Use synonyms
roughly
Add a missing verb
is roughly
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at
Change preposition
apply
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15%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, purposes, areas, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
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