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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#minutes #billions #telephone #uk #three #categories #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
bar chart depicts the quantity of time in
minutes
Use synonyms
 spent on
telephone
Use synonyms
 calls in local, national and international, and mobile types between 1995 and 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 mobile and national and international calls rose over
this
Linking Words
 period, local calls peaked at some
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
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 and decreased steadily on the other half of the graph. Mobile phones, including all calls, started
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 growth from almost zero
levls
Correct your spelling
levels
 in 1995 and moved upwards steadily until 1999, reaching 14
billion
Use synonyms
 calls.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, it jumped
dramaticaly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 in
minutes
Use synonyms
 of calls in
remaining
Add an article
the remaining
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 part of the given time, striking its highest point at 45
billion
Use synonyms
 calls in 2002. In comparison,
although
Linking Words
 fixed lines of national and
internatioanl
Correct your spelling
international
telephone
Use synonyms
 calls started at
greater
Add an article
a greater
show examples
 number of
minutes
Use synonyms
 (
near
Change the word
nearly
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 40
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
) at the beginning of the period,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 did not grow as intensely as mobile
telephone
Use synonyms
 calls did:
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 increased steadily and peaked at over 60
billion
Use synonyms
 calls in the end. Local calls, comprised of fixed lines, distinguished from others by showing
negative
Add an article
a negative
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 trend and
to be
Change the verb form
being
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 the most frequently used
telephone
Use synonyms
 call type even
at the end
Linking Words
 of the given time. It climbed to 90
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
Use synonyms
 in 1999 steadily, and it fell dramatically until the end, reaching its lowest point
70
Change preposition
of 70
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billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 in 2002.
Submitted by IELTS nis on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes, telephone, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • total number of minutes
  • telephone calls
  • categories
  • local – fixed line
  • national and international – fixed line
  • mobiles
  • general trend
  • yearly totals
  • significant changes
  • milestones
  • data
  • rise significantly
  • decline
  • steady increase
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • exponential growth
  • over the period
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