You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
In the concurrent era, people spend their whole lives working in the same place doctors and engineers are obliged to
work
same place due to
myriads of reasons like money
, respect, and facilities. Therefore
, I agree that money
plays a crucial role in staying in a working place. The following paragraph will highlight my perspectives, leading to a logical conclusion.
There are several reasons why professionals work
from their prohibiting period to the long term working. Firstly
, a good salary package that is
received from the government. However
, the government allocated expert persons like doctors, engineers, and IT professionals so they expected to pay such
an investment. Secondly
, working hours
are less than others because physicians work
6 hours
a day while
the HR department works 4 hours
a day. Furthermore
, respect is the foremost factor that a worker
stays along with
because when a person is treated well by the company
, they would like to work
for a longer time. In addition
, when the organization provides a prize to be a good employer that shows a huge impact on working capability,
because everyone wants a prize. Remove the comma
apply
For example
, GOOGlE gives increments when a worker
performs their tasks within a required period. So that is
why I agree with it that money
is important for everything.
Probing ahead, people need money
to fullfil
the requirements of life like housing, food, healthcare, and education. Nowadays, youngster Correct your spelling
fulfil
work
8 hours
to pay their fee and become self-independent.
Therefore
, the workplace flourishes the social environment and creates a relationship with colleagues because job security and stable income influence the mind of a worker
to collaborate with the company
and work
hard to make a company
on the sky. For instance
, government officer
Fix the agreement mistake
officers
work
for 25 years because they received
incentives, respect and Wrong verb form
receive
having
Wrong verb form
have
a
good social Correct article usage
apply
linking
with others. Fix the agreement mistake
links
Consequently
, finances affluent on the lavish lifestyle.
to sum up
, for the aforementioned reasons, money
is the main factor that helps a worker
to stay with the company
and make a self reliant
in life. Add a hyphen
self-reliant
Money
is the icing on the cake for people.Submitted by alviusman18 on
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay directly responds to all parts of the task. While you addressed why money is a crucial motivator, also consider addressing the counter-arguments or other factors in more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Use clearer topic sentences and transitions to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repetitive phrases and focus on providing more precise and varied vocabulary. Also, be more concise in some areas to avoid unnecessary repetition.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points made in the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides several relevant reasons and examples to support the idea that money is a key motivator.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.