The graph shows the percentage of people in 4 age groups who visited the cinema once a month or more between 1984 and 2003.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graph shows the percentage of people in 4 age groups who visited the cinema once a month or more between 1984 and 2003.

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The line graph provides data about percentages of individuals who visited the cinema once a month or more from 1984 to 2003. The visitors are separated into 4 different groups

according to

Linking Words

their age.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that the highest percentages belong to youth generations,

while

Linking Words

the lowest to older.

To begin

Linking Words

with, in 1984 there were just under 5 % of people aged 35 and over. The figure decreased to zero % in 1988. It has experienced an increase to 10% in 2002. The per

cent

Use synonyms

race to just over 10 in 2003. Regarding people aged 25-35, there were 5 % of visitors in 1984. It grew significantly to just under 20 % in 1997. It faced a crash to just under 20 per

cent

Use synonyms

in 2000.

Then

Linking Words

it grew incredibly to just under 30 per

cent

Use synonyms

in 2002. It faced with a drop to 25 % ,and

then

Linking Words

race to 30 in 2003. Regarding people aged 7-14, there were 10 % in 1984. It has experienced a considerable growth to 30 per

cent

Use synonyms

in 2000. It dropped to 25 % in the next year.

Then

Linking Words

there was an increase to just over 40 % in 2002. Regarding adults aged 15-24, in 1984 there were just under 20 % of watchers,

while

Linking Words

in 1996 the point rose to just under 50 % with several fluctuations. It has experienced an incredible crash to just under 40 %, and

and

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

race to 55 % in 2003.

makemoneyizzy16Tue Sep 03 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 7 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

247 words

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The graph shows the percentage of people in 4 age groups who visited the cinema once a month or more between 1984 and 2003.

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

do you agree that parents should put their infants in day-care centers

Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities which are played alone. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With access to internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should limit access to the internet for their children. Do you agree?