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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph shows the percentage of people in 4 age groups who visited the cinema once a month or more between 1984 and 2003.

The graph shows the percentage of people in 4 age groups who visited the cinema once a month or more between 1984 and 2003.
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The line graph compares the proportion of people from different
age
Use synonyms
 groups who went to the
cinema
Use synonyms
 between 1984 and 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, cinemagoing became increasingly more popular throughout the period, with the
figure
Use synonyms
 for all
age
Use synonyms
 groups seeing rises of varying degrees. It is
also
Linking Words
 clear that despite some fluctuations, the percentage of people in the 15-24
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 was consistently the highest,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage for the oldest
age
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group
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 remained the lowest. Going to the
cinema
Use synonyms
 was more common among the youngest
age
Use synonyms
 groups. In 1984, around 16% of those aged between 15 and 24 went to the
cinema
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 followed by a steady rise to about 33% in 1992. The
figure
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 fluctuated between 32% and over 50% until 2002 before reaching its peak of roughly 56% in the final year.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of children aged 7-14 who attended the
cinema
Use synonyms
 was lower in 1984 at 10%.
This
Linking Words
figure
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 increased to 14% in 1994 after some fluctuations.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, it rose significantly, reaching approximately 40% in 2002 before falling to 30% in the
last
Linking Words
 year. The 25-35
age
Use synonyms
group
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 almost mirrored the pattern of the youngest
age
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group
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. Starting at 4%, the
figure
Use synonyms
 saw a relatively stable growth to 25% in 1998. It
then
Linking Words
 fluctuated, ending the period at 30%, the same as the youngest cinemagoers. Cinemagoing among the oldest
age
Use synonyms
 cohort was least popular, with only around 2% engaging in
this
Linking Words
 activity from 1984 to 1988.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
however
Linking Words
, the
figure
Use synonyms
 rose to 8% over the next decade,
then
Linking Words
 dropped slightly to 6% only to stage a recovery to 13% in the final year

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "after this".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, cinema, figure, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rises" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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