Some people believe that the use of animals for the purpose of experiments is cruel while others believe that it is necessary for the development of science. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

it is often argued
Correct word choice
that sacrificating
show examples
sacrificating
Correct your spelling
sacrificing
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
to test experimental theories or
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
is a bad action,
however
, some people think,
this
phase must be done to improve
science
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
knownledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
. In
this
essay, I want to explain my opinion, in accordance
whit
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
this
argumentation, because
animals
suffer in experiments and thanks
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
development of new technologies there is another way to verify
science
.
About
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This
show examples
this
in
science
experiments, the majority of
animals
that
was
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were
show examples
used dies, in fact, especially in biological or physiological tests some vital organs were extracted,
such
as
liver
Correct article usage
the liver
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,heart,
lungs
Correct word choice
and lungs
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to examine how
experiment
Correct article usage
the experiment
show examples
changed and if there is coherence with the predictions,
for example
,in these days, I'm reading an
articol
Correct your spelling
article
where analyses a new type of
bio-compatable
Correct your spelling
bio-compatible
battery and scientists studied the biological response in vivo using white rat who was sacrificed for experimentation.
Althought
Correct your spelling
Although
the moral view, some
animals
are necessary for human life
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
we kill some pigs to take its
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
health
aortic valves and
them
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
has
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have
show examples
to substitute human valves that
doesn't
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don't
show examples
work,
this
process
save
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saves
show examples
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
of lives,
however
for experimental activities in these recent years could be not necessary use of
animals
because are developing some 3D
sofwares
Correct your spelling
software
thanks AI that
simulate
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simulates
show examples
what
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
in the human body and these
analysis
Change the determiner
analyses
show examples
are very accurate so scientists can skip the animal experimentation phase. In conclusion, the procedure of using
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
in
laboratory
Add an article
the laboratory
a laboratory
show examples
is
such
a cruel development
due
Correct word choice
because
show examples
to is structured in
alterative
Correct your spelling
alternative
show examples
science
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
use new technologies to have the same results and eliminate
this
moral debate.
Submitted by matteosolito03 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow of your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the sentences within each paragraph support that main idea. Using transition words can also help to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
For task achievement, make sure to fully address all parts of the prompt. Your essay should present a balanced view and explore both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion. Also, try to expand on your ideas more thoroughly with additional specific examples and explanations.
task achievement
To enhance clarity and comprehension, work on the grammatical accuracy and complexity of your sentences. You should aim to write more complex, varied sentences to better express your ideas. Proofreading your essay for common errors in spelling, punctuation, and word choice will also improve its overall quality.
task achievement
Provide a stronger and clearer thesis statement in your introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss. Similarly, ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and restates your opinion in a compelling manner.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which helps to illustrate your arguments.
task achievement
You addressed both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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