More and more people are travelling internationally for their holidays but it is expensive and bad for the environment. Do the advantages of international travel for the individual outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #holidays #environment #travel

Pricey international travelling is getting more popular nowadays despite of environmentally negative impact that it causes. Beyond the significant environmental impact,

this

trend has more positives personally including cultural exposure, personal

grouth

Correct your spelling

growth

and development,

economic

Correct word choice

and economic

show examples

benefits. Looking at the pros,

interantional

Correct your spelling

international

travel allows

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

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to experience different

cultues

Correct your spelling

cultures

, broadening their perspectives and fostering greater understanding and tolerance among people.

This

cultural exposure can be both enriching and educational.

This

trend

also

can boost an individual's confidence, problem-solving skills, and adaptability. Facing new and unfamiliar environments encourages personal

grouth

Correct your spelling

growth

and

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

develop independence. More importantly, international tourism can bring significant economic benefits to destination countries, by promoting local businesses, creating jobs, and boosting the hospitality and service sectors. If people were encouraged to do more travelling overseas, they would likely

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

benefit not only

Change preposition

apply

show examples

themselves but

also

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their country. Despite all the advantages, travelling internationally can be

extremelly

Correct your spelling

extremely

expensive

due to

airfare, accommodation, dining, and activities

expecially

Correct your spelling

especially

using public transportation.

This

cost can be a barrier for some individuals, limiting the accessibility of international travel. The most dangerous

among

Change preposition

apply

show examples

cons

Fix the agreement mistake

con

show examples

environmental

Add an article

the environmental

show examples

impact

that is

affected by going overseas. Air travel contributes to carbon emissions, which exacerbate global warming. Increased tourism can

also

lead to environmental degradation through

overuse

Correct article usage

the overuse

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of natural resources and increased waste and pollution caused by tourists

expecially

Correct your spelling

especially

those who are not aware

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show examples

their environment.

To conclude

while

there will be risks and consequences towards overseas

travels

Fix the agreement mistake

travel

show examples

, I reckon that the

benefit

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benefits

show examples

of cultural exposure, personal growth, and economic

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

far more considerable for individuals.

Submitted by frendyardiansyah31 on Tue Sep 03 2024

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task achievement

Work on improving spelling and grammar, as there are several typos and grammatical errors, such as 'pricey international travelling' instead of 'expensive international travel' or 'interantional' instead of 'international.'

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. This can enhance the argument and provide concrete evidence to make your essay more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that the use of linking words and phrases is consistent throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easier to follow your argument.

task achievement

You have done a good job of addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of international travel, making for a balanced discussion.

task achievement

Your points are relevant and cover various aspects of the topic, from cultural exposure to economic benefits and environmental impact.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural enrichment
Broaden perspectives
Economic benefits
Carbon footprint
Environmental degradation
Global warming
Local businesses
Health risks
Infectious diseases
Personal growth
Problem-solving skills
Adaptability
Cost implications
Global travel
Tourism industry

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More and more people are travelling internationally for their holidays but it is expensive and bad for the environment. Do the advantages of international travel for the individual outweigh the disadvantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this?

Some people think that children should be taught how to cook and grow food at school. Do you agree or disagree?

“Many university students live with families while others live away from home because their universities are in different places.” What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations?

Tourism has increased so much over the last 50 years that it is having a mainly negative impact on local inhabitants and the environment. However, others claim that it is good for the economy. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and give your own opinion.