More and more people are travelling internationally for their holidays but it is expensive and bad for the environment. Do the advantages of international travel for the individual outweigh the disadvantages?

Pricey international travelling is getting more popular nowadays despite of environmentally negative impact that it causes. Beyond the significant environmental impact,
this
trend has more positives personally including cultural exposure, personal
grouth
Correct your spelling
growth
and development,
economic
Correct word choice
and economic
show examples
benefits. Looking at the pros,
interantional
Correct your spelling
international
travel allows
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
to experience different
cultues
Correct your spelling
cultures
, broadening their perspectives and fostering greater understanding and tolerance among people.
This
cultural exposure can be both enriching and educational.
This
trend
also
can boost an individual's confidence, problem-solving skills, and adaptability. Facing new and unfamiliar environments encourages personal
grouth
Correct your spelling
growth
and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
develop independence. More importantly, international tourism can bring significant economic benefits to destination countries, by promoting local businesses, creating jobs, and boosting the hospitality and service sectors. If people were encouraged to do more travelling overseas, they would likely
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
benefit not only
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
themselves but
also
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their country. Despite all the advantages, travelling internationally can be
extremelly
Correct your spelling
extremely
expensive
due to
airfare, accommodation, dining, and activities
expecially
Correct your spelling
especially
using public transportation.
This
cost can be a barrier for some individuals, limiting the accessibility of international travel. The most dangerous
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cons
Fix the agreement mistake
con
show examples
is
environmental
Add an article
the environmental
show examples
impact
that is
affected by going overseas. Air travel contributes to carbon emissions, which exacerbate global warming. Increased tourism can
also
lead to environmental degradation through
overuse
Correct article usage
the overuse
show examples
of natural resources and increased waste and pollution caused by tourists
expecially
Correct your spelling
especially
those who are not aware
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
their environment.
To conclude
,
while
there will be risks and consequences towards overseas
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
show examples
, I reckon that the
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
of cultural exposure, personal growth, and economic
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
far more considerable for individuals.
Submitted by frendyardiansyah31 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Work on improving spelling and grammar, as there are several typos and grammatical errors, such as 'pricey international travelling' instead of 'expensive international travel' or 'interantional' instead of 'international.'
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This can enhance the argument and provide concrete evidence to make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that the use of linking words and phrases is consistent throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easier to follow your argument.
task achievement
You have done a good job of addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of international travel, making for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
Your points are relevant and cover various aspects of the topic, from cultural exposure to economic benefits and environmental impact.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Broaden perspectives
  • Economic benefits
  • Carbon footprint
  • Environmental degradation
  • Global warming
  • Local businesses
  • Health risks
  • Infectious diseases
  • Personal growth
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Adaptability
  • Cost implications
  • Global travel
  • Tourism industry
What to do next:
Look at other essays: