IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The first chart shows the population of England and Wales between 1700 and 2000. The second chart gives information about the birth and death rate in the same countries in the same period.

The first chart shows the population of England and Wales between 1700 and 2000. The second chart gives information about the birth and death rate in the same countries in the same period.
#first #population #england #wales #second #information #birth #death #rate #countries #period
The graphs
depicts
Change the verb form
depict
show examples
 the population figures,
birth
 and
death
 rate of England and Wales between 1700 and 2000.
Overall
,
it is clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the population increased throughout the given
period
 and the
highiest
Correct your spelling
highest
 rates of
birth
 and
death
 were recorded in 1800. At the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the
period
, in 1700, there were just under 10
million
 people in these countries which was the lowest of the given
period
. These figures continued to increase in 1900 almost doubling that figure of 1800 which was approximately 15
million
 to just under 40
million
.
This
 trend continued to the end of the
period
 when these two nations had the most lives
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 50
million
. As
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
birth
 and
death
 rates, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 just under 10
million
 shown in 1700. Meanwhile, in 1800, most
birth
Fix the agreement mistake
births
show examples
 and
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
show examples
 were
recored
Correct your spelling
recorded
 with an estimation of 24 and 16
million
 respectively. There was not much difference
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the number of
birth
Fix the agreement mistake
births
show examples
 in 1900 and 2000 with both years showing numbers below 15
million
. For
child
Correct your spelling
childbirth
show examples
birth
, 1900 had about 8
million
 newborns
while
 the least child delivery was in 2000, set at nearly 5
million
.
Submitted by sisalt100 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words birth, death, period, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 3 times.
▼

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!