Some people prefer to relax by doing physical activities, while others choose mental activities such as crossword puzzles or chess. Discuss the both views and include your own opinion.

It is important to unwind after a long duty. Some individuals choose physical
activities
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
relax rather than other people who prefer
brain
activities
such
as puzzles or playing chess. From my perspective, it
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
depend
Add the preposition
depend on
show examples
person to person, because the
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
of relaxation are different for everyone. I will support my opinion with arguments in the essay below.
To begin
with,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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a viable option for some
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
to play
real time
Add a hyphen
real-time
show examples
games
to relax after hard duty.
For example
, playing football, cricket, tennis etc
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
fundamental
Add an article
a fundamental
show examples
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
on our
body
.
Additionally
,
Games
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
a significant role in our lives.
Its
Correct pronoun usage
It
show examples
not
just
Rephrase
only
show examples
makes us healthy and fit but
also
makes us active for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
day.
Hence
,
i
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I
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wholeheartedly believe that
,
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apply
show examples
physical
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
is a great thing to relax.
Secondly
, Mental
activities
such
as playing
games
, which
includes
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include
show examples
brain
work
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
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body
.
Furthermore
,
this
not only
boost
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boosts
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our memory strength
,
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apply
show examples
but
also
makes us
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
make quick decisions. To
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
, chess is an ancient game,
greatest
Correct article usage
the greatest
show examples
kings play these
games
to expand their
brain
memory, so they can think broadly.
On the other hand
,
according to
many researchers,
puzzle
Fix the agreement mistake
puzzles
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
not only good for
adloscents
Correct your spelling
adolescents
but
also
for
adults
Change noun form
adults'
adult's
show examples
mental health. So,
active
Replace the word
activity
show examples
by
brain
Add an article
the brain
show examples
is
important
Rephrase
as important
show examples
as
active
Replace the word
activity
show examples
by
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
. In conclusion, some are tired by
brain
Add an article
the brain
show examples
rather than
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
, so it depends on the person. Whether
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
physical
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
activity
suit them or mental
activities
.
Activities
are
imporant
Correct your spelling
important
, no matter its a physical or mental.
Submitted by kirivlogs0 on

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grammar
You need to improve your grammar and sentence structure to make your essay clearer and more coherent.
vocabulary
Avoid using informal phrases and ensure your vocabulary usage is appropriate for an academic setting.
elaboration
Expand on your main points with more specific examples and detailed explanations to provide a thorough response to the task.
conclusion
You have included a conclusion that summarizes your main points.
structure
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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