IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand, what measurements can governments and individuals take to respong to this problem?

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Nowadays, manantial
water
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 has become a limited resource in
big
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a big
the big
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 part of the world. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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 I will argue about
this
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 phenomenon and solutions that people and governments should apply.
Firstly
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, it is very important to understand that we are living in an overpopulated world.
Furthermore
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,
the
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apply
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limited resources like
water
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 can not sustain the high demand of
consumitors
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consumers
. Some might argue that
governmets
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governments
government
 must invest more money in technology in order to
de-salanised
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de-salanise
 the sea
water
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 others claim that the ocean
water
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it
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apply
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is not pure,
humans
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and humans
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 should not drink it.
However
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, governments should take action in order to achieve the lack of pure
water
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. For
intance
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instance
, a study from Colorado
Univeristy
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University
 declares that in 2022 in Japan, the government transform sea
water
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 into drinkable
water
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.
Secondly
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, the
demitrimental
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detrimental
 effects of capitalism
has
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have
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 become dangerous for humans.
Moreover
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,
the
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apply
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industrial expansion
requiere
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requires
large
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a large
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amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of
water
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on
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in
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 their processes .
Also
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, agricultural activity
contibuites
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contributes
 significantly to
water
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 consumption.
Likewise
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,
mordern
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modern
 techniques of farming increase the demand
of
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for
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water
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.
As a result
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, large rivers have been dried by the production of primary products like corn or soy.
For instance
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, an
articule
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article
 from TIMES magazine affirms that global
warning
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warming
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affects
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effects
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 contaminate thousands of litres of
glaciar
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glacier
glacial
water
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 every year. In conclusion, it is important to understand that if
the
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apply
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society
maintain
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maintains
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this
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rithym
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rhythm
 of consumerism we could face a big
water
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 crisis worldwide.
However
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, governments should invest in infrastructure to recycle
water
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 and educate their people.

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grammar
Try to proofread your essay to catch minor grammatical mistakes and spelling errors, such as 'manantial' instead of 'fresh,' 'consumitors' instead of 'consumers,' 'de-salanised' instead of 'desalinated,' and so on.
supporting evidence
Use more specific statistical data or facts to support your statements. For instance, rather than just mentioning what a study from Colorado University says, provide more details and ensure the examples are relevant and specific.
structure
Improve the structure of your paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, and all sentences within the paragraph should support that idea.
conclusion
The conclusion summarizes the key points discussed, but it would be strengthened by direct recommendations or more concrete suggestions for individual actions in addition to government actions.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining a structured flow.
task achievement
You identify multiple causes of the increased demand for fresh water and suggest concrete actions that governments could take.
task response
The overall theme of the essay is relevant and tackles the given problem effectively, showing that you understand the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • limited resource
  • global problem
  • population growth
  • industrial expansion
  • agricultural activities
  • urbanization
  • water conservation policies
  • water-saving technologies
  • infrastructure
  • wastewater treatment
  • recycling
  • public awareness campaigns
  • water conservation
  • mindful use
  • domestic use
  • sanitation
What to do next:
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