IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts below show the percentage of water used for diffrent purposes in six areas of the world.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for diffrent purposes in six areas of the world.
#show #percentage #water #diffrent #purposes #six #areas #world
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The charts provide the proportion of
water
Use synonyms
 which is used for three different purposes namely industry,agriculture,and
domestric
Correct your spelling
domestic
 in six different regions in the world.
Overall
Linking Words
it is clear that
Linking Words
 North America and Europe are the biggest
Use synonyms
user
Change the noun form
users
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 industry,
whereas
Linking Words
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 six countries use more
water
Use synonyms
 for
agricultural
Replace the word
agriculture
show examples
.The domestic use
comperative
Correct your spelling
comparative
 lowest in every country.
To begin
Linking Words
 with farming, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 is the
higher
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
user
Use synonyms
 with 88%.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 Africa, South East
Asia
Use synonyms
,and South America are the higher
user
Use synonyms
 with 84%,81%,and 71% respectively. As to industry, 53% of
water
Use synonyms
 is used in
Europe-much
Correct your spelling
Europe
show examples
 higher than
Change preposition
in other
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
,and 48%
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 North America.
By contrast
Linking Words
, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
 5%
water
Use synonyms
, which is the
lower
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
domestic, here we see every country
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 much
less
Fix the agreement mistake
lower
show examples
user
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 with 9% of Africa, first
higher
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
 7%
Use synonyms
water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
 used in Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Submitted by mdtipusultanakhand on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, user, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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