People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons? What can be done to make people drink less?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
, an increasing number of
sugar
Use synonyms
-based
drinks
Use synonyms
have been repeatedly consumed on a daily basis. In
this
Linking Words
essay, some reasons why
people
Use synonyms
use these
products
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
some solutions to the situation will be given. There are some reasons why
people
Use synonyms
consume excessive beverages that contain a large amount of
sugar
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
delicious
flavors
Change the spelling
flavours
show examples
from these
products
Use synonyms
can make consumers feel happy and release their stress.
For example
Linking Words
,
trans-national
Correct your spelling
transnational
show examples
beverage ventures
such
Linking Words
as Coca-Cola or Nestle often a wide range of
products
Use synonyms
with many different
flavors
Change the spelling
flavours
show examples
to attract customers from distinct age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
or countries.
Second,
Linking Words
these beverages are often sold at affordable prices so that
people
Use synonyms
from various financial
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
can be able to buy soft
drinks
Use synonyms
every day.
In addition
Linking Words
,
sugar
Use synonyms
-based
drinks
Use synonyms
are perfect alternatives for alcohol-based
products
Use synonyms
to be used in social events.
For example
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
traffic laws,
people
Use synonyms
who drive cars or motorbikes tend to switch to Sting or Sprite
instead
Linking Words
of beer or wine. For that reason, several ways will be given to help
people
Use synonyms
reduce the consumption of these
products
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
the government can increase the tax on soft drink companies so that
people
Use synonyms
can buy fewer of these
products
Use synonyms
.
Second,
Linking Words
beverage companies can produce more
products
Use synonyms
containing natural
sugar
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as juice, or Kombucha with delicious tastes for customers.
Finally
Linking Words
, the government can create more programs to encourage
people
Use synonyms
to use
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
products
Use synonyms
containing
sugar
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, health programs can be shown on television so the public can understand the negative impact of
sugar
Use synonyms
on the body. In conclusion, everyone usually
drinks
Use synonyms
sugar
Use synonyms
-based
drinks
Use synonyms
because they would like to release stress and protect themselves.
Therefore
Linking Words
, increasing
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
, creating more
products
Use synonyms
with less
sugar
Use synonyms
, and making more health programs are effective solutions.
Submitted by ieltsamiedu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, aim to improve the transition between sentences and paragraphs. Use more varied linking words to create smoother flow throughout the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that all points in the main body are supported with well-developed examples to make arguments more convincing and relevant.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses both aspects of the task: reasons for the increased consumption of sugar-based drinks and potential solutions to reduce this trend.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure with an introduction, main body, and conclusion, making it easier for the reader to follow.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples, such as mentioning Coca-Cola, Nestle, and traffic laws, to support the points being made.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: