People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons? What can be done to make people drink less?

Nowaday
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Nowadays
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, an increasing number of
sugar
-based
drinks
have been repeatedly consumed on a daily basis. In
this
essay, some reasons why
people
use these
products
as well as
some solutions to the situation will be given. There are some reasons why
people
consume excessive beverages that contain a large amount of
sugar
.
First,
delicious
flavors
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flavours
show examples
from these
products
can make consumers feel happy and release their stress.
For example
,
trans-national
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transnational
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beverage ventures
such
as Coca-Cola or Nestle often a wide range of
products
with many different
flavors
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flavours
show examples
to attract customers from distinct age
group
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groups
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or countries.
Second,
these beverages are often sold at affordable prices so that
people
from various financial
background
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backgrounds
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can be able to buy soft
drinks
every day.
In addition
,
sugar
-based
drinks
are perfect alternatives for alcohol-based
products
to be used in social events.
For example
,
due to
traffic laws,
people
who drive cars or motorbikes tend to switch to Sting or Sprite
instead
of beer or wine. For that reason, several ways will be given to help
people
reduce the consumption of these
products
.
First,
the government can increase the tax on soft drink companies so that
people
can buy fewer of these
products
.
Second,
beverage companies can produce more
products
containing natural
sugar
such
as juice, or Kombucha with delicious tastes for customers.
Finally
, the government can create more programs to encourage
people
to use
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
products
containing
sugar
.
For example
, health programs can be shown on television so the public can understand the negative impact of
sugar
on the body. In conclusion, everyone usually
drinks
sugar
-based
drinks
because they would like to release stress and protect themselves.
Therefore
, increasing
tax
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taxes
show examples
, creating more
products
with less
sugar
, and making more health programs are effective solutions.
Submitted by ieltsamiedu on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, aim to improve the transition between sentences and paragraphs. Use more varied linking words to create smoother flow throughout the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that all points in the main body are supported with well-developed examples to make arguments more convincing and relevant.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses both aspects of the task: reasons for the increased consumption of sugar-based drinks and potential solutions to reduce this trend.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure with an introduction, main body, and conclusion, making it easier for the reader to follow.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples, such as mentioning Coca-Cola, Nestle, and traffic laws, to support the points being made.
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