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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction ot some tourist facilities.

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction ot some tourist facilities.
#two #maps #show #island #construction #ot #tourist #facilities
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The both
Remove the article
Both
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 maps below illustrate an
island
Use synonyms
,before and after
transformed
Correct article usage
the transformed
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construstion
Correct your spelling
construction
 developed of some tourist places. The
island
Use synonyms
 is long and thin, is surrounded by ocean and has a beach to the west. Over the period, the
island
Use synonyms
 was completely transformed with the addition of a hotel and a pier;
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 the eastern part of the
island
Use synonyms
 appears to have been left undeveloped. The most noticeable additions are the hotel rooms. 6 buildings, surrounding some trees, have been built in the west of the
island
Use synonyms
 and 9 buildings have been constructed in the centre of the
island
Use synonyms
. Between the two accommodation areas, a reception building and a restaurant
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been developed. A pier has
also
Linking Words
 been built on the south coast of the
island
Use synonyms
, allowing yachts access to the resort. Apart from the trees, the beach remains the only natural feature to remain relatively untouched;
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 it does appear that it is now used for swimming.
Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words island with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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