In recent years, there has been a rise in the popularity of second hand clothing amongst younger generations. Why is this happening? Do you think it's a positive or negative development?
The
popularity
of second
Add a hyphen
second-hand
hand
clothings
has been rising amongst Change the wording
clothing
items of clothing
articles of clothing
the
youngsters nowadays as they have Correct article usage
apply
cheaper
Add an article
a cheaper
price
than new Fix the agreement mistake
prices
clothings
and Replace the word
clothes
matched
with Wrong verb form
match
Add an article
the purchased
purchased
ability of the younger generations. Replace the word
purchase
However
, this
phenomenon will give
a negative impact because it will affect local clothing Verb problem
have
brands
sales Change noun form
brands'
brand's
due to
the price
of used clothings
.
Change the wording
clothing
items of clothing
articles of clothing
Firstly
, second
Add a hyphen
second-hand
hand
clothings
get much attention Replace the word
clothes
from
Change preposition
of
the
young people because it has Correct article usage
apply
very
low Add an article
a very
price
and Fix the agreement mistake
prices
almost
Add a missing verb
are almost
same
quality Correct article usage
the same
with
new clothes in stores. The used clothing sellers are targeted adolescents as their main customers because the young people have lower purchasing power than average people where they are dominated by students and fresh graduates who do not have much income. Change preposition
as
As a result
, the
youngsters like to purchase Correct article usage
apply
second
Add a hyphen
second-hand
hand
clothings
in order to keep Change the wording
clothing
items of clothing
articles of clothing
updating
with the current trend. Wrong verb form
updated
This
phenomenon can be seen from
several central markets of used Change preposition
in
clothings
, Change the wording
clothing
items of clothing
articles of clothing
such
as Pasar Senen in Jakarta or Pasar Kodok in Bali which still have a big
number of visitors, especially Correct word choice
large
in
long holidays.
Despite its Change preposition
during
popularity
, the used clothings
become the biggest threat for local brand textiles as they mainly come from overseas. Change the wording
clothing
items of clothing
articles of clothing
Price
of the used Correct your spelling
The prices
clothings
are in the same range Change the wording
clothing
items of clothing
articles of clothing
with
the local Change preposition
as
brands
, making the local textiles cannot compete with the used clothings
where they are imported in a mass volume. Change the wording
clothing
items of clothing
articles of clothing
Hence
, the local brands
have a big struggle to survive from bankcruptcy
.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
bankruptcy
the
Correct article usage
apply
second
Add a hyphen
second-hand
hand
textiles gain
more Wrong verb form
have gained
popularity
as they can afford the
young customers. Correct article usage
apply
However
, the popularity
should be controlled wisely because it threats
the development Verb problem
threatens
local
Change preposition
of local
brands
to survive in the business.Submitted by bhaswarawira on
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clear comprehensive ideas
Work on expanding and clearly articulating your ideas. The main points are identified but could benefit from further explanation and examples.
logical structure
Ensure that you are linking your ideas smoothly. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
complete response
Although your response is complete, make sure to delve deeper into both sides of the argument to provide a more balanced view.
introduction conclusion present
Both the introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame your essay, making it easy to follow.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant specific examples, such as mentioning Pasar Senen in Jakarta, which help to support your points and make them more convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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