Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjetcs that will be useful in the future such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The argument towards
subject
Correct article usage
the subject
show examples
choices of university
students
is to fulfil the
market
demand. Science and technology are highly sought after, especially in
this
technological era.
While
it is true to opt
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
out of these. On the one hand, allowing
students
to study what they like can lead to higher motivation and better academic performance since they are more engaged in
subjects
they find interesting. By taking their personal choice, they could focus on their passion,
get
Correct word choice
and get
show examples
into
professional
Add an article
a professional
show examples
role.
For example
, art
students
could be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
if they explore
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new skills,
techniques
Correct word choice
and techniques
show examples
.
This
will
also
give a balance in the job and society.
Moreover
, allowing
students
to choose a variety of
subjects
provides them with versatile skills that can adapt to changing job
market
Fix the agreement mistake
markets
show examples
and career paths.
In other words
, they have flexibility in
Correct pronoun usage
their career
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Unexpected
Add an article
An unexpected
show examples
situation
such
as
Correct article usage
the pandemic
show examples
pandemic
Fix the agreement mistake
pandemics
show examples
and
war
Fix the agreement mistake
wars
show examples
often happens at any time, leading to companies
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
to lay off, in
this
state, individuals with different skills will benefit more
to find
Change preposition
in finding
show examples
jobs.
On the other hand
, in
this
technology-focused era,
students
need to prepare expertise to meet the
market
demand. Technology has changed and taken a part of work, business and daily activities, so focusing education on science and technology
subjects
can meet
market
demand for professionals in these fields. Artificial intelligence and
startup
Fix the agreement mistake
startups
show examples
are getting more popular and
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
show examples
a number of employees who are
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
in these fields. If
students
could not keep up with
this
trend, they would be left behind and difficult to compete with others. In conclusion, I believe that choosing
subjects
based on personal interest
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
the
students
more in unexpected life now and
then
.
Submitted by frendyardiansyah31 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Ensure that your introduction is clear and sets the stage for the discussion. Your opening sentence is a bit unclear and could be improved for better clarity.
task achievement
Develop your points with more specific and relevant examples. For instance, mention specific jobs or scenarios where having a versatile skill set helped individuals during unexpected situations.
coherence
Improve the use of cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively. Use words like 'however', 'furthermore', 'therefore', etc., to make your essay flow better.
coherence
Expand on the conclusion to summarize both views discussed and firmly restate your opinion. This makes your essay more cohesive and leaves a strong impression.
coherence
You provided a good balance of arguments for both sides of the discussion, showcasing an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The point about flexibility and adaptability in careers due to changing situations like pandemics and wars is relevant and well-made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic performance
  • cross-disciplinary thinking
  • innovation
  • creativity
  • market demand
  • unemployment rates
  • economic growth
  • skilled workforce
  • technological advancements
  • efficiency
  • holistic development
  • well-rounded individuals
  • critical thinkers
  • effective communicators
  • versatile skills
  • career paths
What to do next:
Look at other essays: