The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012

#unemployment #situation #australia #year

The graph provides data about unemployment in Australia in the year of 2012. Looking from an

overall

perspective, it is readily apparent that rural areas

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

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constituted the majority of idleness in two thousand twelve,

while

in cities

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

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was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

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twice

better

Correct word choice

as good

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. Turning first to rural areas employment in the 1st quarter has shown the worst result.

In contrast

, joblessness in urban places made up only 20%, which is 40

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

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less

that

Correct word choice

than

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in the villages. Over the ensuing quarters,

number

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a number

the number

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of unemployed soared in the

mega cities

Correct your spelling

megacities

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, rising by approximately 10% each fourth part till August of 2012. A precisely mirrored ratio

also

occurred in rural settlements,

however

, idleness has dramatically increased. After a sharp decline

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the end of

third

Add an article

the third

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quarter, both areas were largely steady, increasing

under

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a percentage point every month and

reach

Wrong verb form

reaching

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forty five

Add a hyphen

forty-five

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percent

Change the spelling

per cent

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Change the preposition

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the end of the year.

Submitted by dnm.best on Thu Sep 05 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

146 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.