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Writing Samples
Band 6

The maps below show the town of Langley in 1910 and 1950. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show the town of Langley in 1910 and 1950. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The two maps illustrated the renovations done in a town called Langley, which took part from 1910 until 1950. There were significant changes done
throughtout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the 40 years, which will be described
further
Linking Words
 in the next part.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1910 it was shown that by the
side
Use synonyms
 of the railway
workers
Change noun form
workers'
worker's
show examples
 cottages which was in the wasteland, there was a railway line which
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 as long as Langley. On top of it, it was
Sherman
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
 where
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
, store, and laundry were located with houses nearby. Above it, there was a factory located beside a wasteland. By the
side
Use synonyms
, which was
jordan
Change the capitalization
Jordan
show examples
street
Use synonyms
 had lots of
town houses
Correct your spelling
townhouses
show examples
side
Use synonyms
 by
side
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 1950 there were lots of changes
done
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
. Starting from the obvious one, which was called
Sherman
Use synonyms
park
Capitalize word
Park
show examples
 located beside
Sherman
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
 which had a pond in it with an area for
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
 to play with which once was
wasteland
Correct article usage
a wasteland
show examples
 and cottages.
Secondly
Linking Words
, townhouses were renovated which turned out as flats. On the other
side
Use synonyms
 of
Sherman
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
, it was
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
Sherman
Use synonyms
's mansion which had laundry and
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
 beside it. It was
also
Linking Words
 shown that in New lane, there were 3 stores located. In conclusion, Langley showed that it had
done
Verb problem
made
show examples
 quite significant changes done by 40 years which made it a better place.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words side, sherman, street with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban transformation
  • residential areas
  • infrastructure development
  • commercial activities
  • industrial zones
  • economic growth
  • urban expansion
  • public facilities
  • population growth
  • structured street layouts
  • central market area
  • parkland or green space
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