1.Directors of organizations receive higher salaries than the ordinary worker. Some people think it is neccesary while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#directors #organizations #salaries #worker #people #neccesary

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There is a debate over structural organizations in a

company

Use synonyms

. On the one hand, the manager of a

company

Use synonyms

get

Change the verb form

gets

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higher salaries than the ordinary workers.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, people argue it is not fair. Both arguments will be discussed below to declare a conclusion. Obviously, the leader of a

company

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have

Change the verb form

has

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a right to get more money than their relatives that have

position

Correct article usage

a position

show examples

below them.

For example

Linking Words

, the Project Manager of Unilever got salaries

Change preposition

of up

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to 7.000 US dollars when the

company

Use synonyms

experience

Replace the word

experienced

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surplus conditions. In

this

Linking Words

project, the Project Manager has tasks to think, develop, execute, and evaluate from production until the products come to the customers. Certainly, it is a hard job to do for the ordinary

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

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. So, it is understandable if the director

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

high

Correct word choice

higher

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salary. On the other sides, some people think it is unfair because everyone in a

company

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

does

show examples

their jobs equally.

For instance

Linking Words

, my friend

work

Change the verb form

works

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as a cashier in a supermarket around our neighbourhood. She works from 9 A.M. to 5 P.M. She said her salaries

does

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show examples

not match with the things she did at work.

This

Linking Words

opinion

Linking Words

also

Add a missing verb

is also

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acceptable.

However

Linking Words

, she does not have a skill like her

bos

Correct your spelling

boss

, finding ways how to make the revenue of the supermarket can increase, which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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is harder to do than

Wrong verb form

being

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a cashier. After considering both sides, I feel that I am more suitable

with

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for

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the first argument. It is because the critical thinking and problem solving that they had makes them worth to pay more high than ordinary workers.

Submitted by wishmeluck on Fri Sep 06 2024

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task achievement

Your essay successfully addresses both views and provides your own opinion, which reflects a good understanding of the task. However, try to elaborate more on the points you make to further clarify and strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasing present throughout the essay. For instance, 'get higher salaries' should be 'get higher salaries.' Notably, the term 'relatives' is used inaccurately and should be replaced with 'subordinates' or 'employees.' Consider proofreading and refining your essay for clarity and accuracy.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using transition words and phrases more effectively to link your ideas. Adding more linking phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In contrast,' and 'Therefore' can help improve the logical flow and overall readability of your essay.

task achievement

Your examples are relevant, but they should be more detailed to better illustrate your points. For instance, explain why your friend's job as a cashier is considered less complex and less demanding compared to a manager's responsibilities in greater detail.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each body paragraph clearly supports the main thesis and contributes to the essay's overall argument. This will help improve the cohesion and structure of your essay.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion are present and align well with the topic.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your essay provides clear and comprehensive ideas which address both sides of the argument.

relevant specific examples

You have included relevant specific examples that support your arguments effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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1.Directors of organizations receive higher salaries than the ordinary worker. Some people think it is neccesary while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays, more people are becoming overweight. Some people think that the solution is to increase the price of fattening food? To what extent do you agree or disagree.

All university students should do some voluntary work to help the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people think that manufactures and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while other argue that people have the responbility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs and other leisure activities. What are the harmful effects of such violent programs on children? What are the solutions for this problem?