The bar charts show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar charts show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. 

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart illustrates the number of graduate and postgraduate
students
in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
who did not go into full-time
work
after leaving college
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in the year 2008.
It is clear that
both graduate and postgraduate
students
chose to study more
whereas
fewer
people
decided to do voluntary
work
. First of all,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of
students
rating
Wrong verb form
rated
show examples
29,665
people
chose their destination as
further
studies in order to develop
thier
Correct your spelling
their
skills to get well-paid job
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
. It was followed by part-time
work
which 17,735
students
decided
.
Change preposition
on.
show examples
16,235 graduates chose to be unemployed as they thought having more experience and relaxing is more important than getting a job
while
only 3,500
people
went to do voluntary
work
.
Similarly
Add a comma
Similarly,
show examples
the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of postgraduate
students
also
displayed an almost similar pattern over the year. 2,725
students
decided to study more related to their course.
Whereas
2,535 postgraduates made a choice to do part-time
work
as they needed money before they
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
employed. Followed by
further
study and part-time
work
, unemployment was in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third position. 1,625
people
stayed unemployed
while
only 345 postgraduates volunteered for
work
in 2008.
Submitted by wjddbs2206 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further, whereas, while".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, work, people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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