IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

the plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #harbour #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given illustrations compare the
plan
 of the harbour from the year 2000 to its current state.
Overall
, the
plan
 from 2000 is
similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
 to how the harbour looks nowadays,
excpet
Correct your spelling
except
 for some additions and slight alterations. To commence, the infrastructure and the layout
plan
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 preserved, yet some of the established facilities differ.
For instance
, the octagonal disused castle maintains its shape,
however
, it is now converted into a hotel.
Moreover
, the layout for the facilities
loacted
Correct your spelling
located
 to the west is maintained, as the showers and the car park remain in the same location. Yet, the Marina for personal yachts switches locations with the fishing boats. It is noteworthy that additional showers and toilets are established next to the current Marina. Looking with more depth at the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the harbour, two docks are constructed
instead
 of one. Moving to the bottom, the initial
plan
 of constructing a road is fulfilled, with the original
plan
 leading to the lifeboats which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 now allocated next
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 new shops and cafe.
In addition
, a new exit is added leading to the hotel and its private beach.
Submitted by nareesakbar on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction provides a clear overview of the task, which is good. However, a brief concluding sentence summarizing the key changes would enhance the coherence further.
task achievement
The use of specific details from the diagrams (e.g., mentioning the octagonal disused castle and the changes in the marina) is effective and shows a good understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Remember to proofread your work for minor grammatical errors and inconsistencies in phrasing (e.g., 'excpet' should be 'except', 'the layout for the facilities loacted to the west is maintained' should be 'the layout for the facilities located to the west has been maintained'). These small changes will enhance clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
The essay effectively compares the two diagrams, highlighting both changes and similarities. This demonstrates clear comprehension of the task.
task achievement
The detailed descriptions of specific changes (like the conversion of the disused castle into a hotel and the relocation of the marina and fishing boats) show careful analysis and selection of relevant information.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay, moving from general observations to specific details and comparing different parts of the harbour, helps in understanding the changes clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • harbour (or harbor)
  • docks
  • shipping lanes
  • warehouses
  • recreational areas
  • infrastructure
  • additions
  • removals
  • facilities
  • environmental sustainability
  • economic impact
  • local community
  • capacity
  • technological advancements
  • industrial shipping
  • recreational use
  • surrounding infrastructure
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