IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010.

The chart below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010.
The given chart indicates the percentage of fruit and vegetables by three groups of people .
That is
Linking Words
 men ,
women
Use synonyms
 and
children
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
, in 2002
women
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are
Wrong verb form
were
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 seen to
be having
Wrong verb form
have
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 the highest
consumption
Use synonyms
 of 25% and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
having
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the lowest
consumption
Use synonyms
 of 11%. In 2006 the
Use synonyms
women
Change noun form
women's
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consumption
Use synonyms
 rate was at its peak of 32%.In general that year, the population was higher as compared to 2002 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
women
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 have the highest
consumption
Use synonyms
 rate as compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 and men in the three years 2002, 2006
and2010
Correct your spelling
and 2010
.
Children
Use synonyms
Linking Words
on
Add the comma(s)
, on
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 the other hand, have the lowest
consumption
Use synonyms
 of fruits and vegetables as compared to
women
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 and men respectively.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, children, consumption with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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