IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal?

#people #country #materials #goods #production
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According to
Linking Words
 some individuals, every
country
Use synonyms
 should aim at producing more
materials
Use synonyms
 and
goods
Use synonyms
. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint because a
country
Use synonyms
 should not focus on
Use synonyms
production
Add an article
the production
show examples
 of
goods
Use synonyms
 aimlessly, without deciding whether
these
Change the determiner
this production
these productions
show examples
production
Use synonyms
 could be useful or not. A
country
Use synonyms
 should only produce
materials
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 some limits and goals. If a
country
Use synonyms
 produces
goods
Use synonyms
 without any appropriate limit or goal, it might lead to
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unnecessary
production
Use synonyms
, and it will not be
cost
Verb problem
apply
show examples
Replace the word
worth
show examples
worthy
Correct pronoun usage
worthy it
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, the UK, in 2019, produced a significant
amount
Use synonyms
 of wheat without any proper calculation about whether the population
require
Wrong verb form
required
show examples
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
, or whether they
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 export it. Ultimately, the
country
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 could not even export it to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign countries.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 large
amount
Use synonyms
 of wheat got rotten and they could not make up the
prduction
Correct your spelling
production
 costs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, without producing large
Use synonyms
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of unnecessary
goods
Use synonyms
, the government of a
country
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 should plan carefully in which areas it will invest its money. A
country
Use synonyms
 can utilize the
production
Use synonyms
 costs of
materials
Use synonyms
 and
goods
Use synonyms
 in some other sectors.
For example
Linking Words
, Canada has a proper annual budget
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 2023, which portrays
around
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how much money it will invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
production
Add an article
the production
show examples
 of
goods
Use synonyms
, and how much money it will utilize in the improvement of infrastructures.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
goods
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 and
materials
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 should be produced
according to
Linking Words
a proper goals
Correct the article-noun agreement
proper goals
a proper goal
show examples
 because it saves a
country
Use synonyms
 from misuse of its budget. A
country
Use synonyms
's other sectors will be
negelected
Correct your spelling
neglected
, if a
country
Use synonyms
produce
Change the verb form
produces
show examples
 things aimlessly
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because the annual budget cannot be distributed properly.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task response
Expand the introduction to better outline the main points that will be discussed in the essay. This provides clarity and sets the stage for your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically connected. This will enhance the logical flow and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task response
Provide more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments. This will make your points stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on diversifying your vocabulary and sentence structures to avoid repetition and improve readability.
task response
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task response
The arguments presented are relevant to the topic and provide a clear stance on the issue.
task response
The use of examples, while needing more specificity, is a good strategy to illustrate points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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