IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. Summarise the information by selecting a reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. Summarise the information by selecting a reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram illustrates the report of telephone calls in
Correct article usage
the Britain
show examples
Britain Area
Replace the word
British area
show examples
. It
divides
Wrong verb form
divided
show examples
 into three variances about local, national and international, and
mobiles
Use synonyms
 in 1995-2002. The bar chart
demostrates
Correct your spelling
demonstrates
 the local fixed
begin
Correct subject-verb agreement
begins
show examples
 in the highest place around 70 billion. It rises gently from 1995-1999,
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 fixed line declines from 88 to almost 70
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 in 2000 until 2002.
However
Linking Words
, domestic and global
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
handphone is
smaller
Add an article
a smaller
the smaller
show examples
 number of calls than
local
Add an article
the local
a local
show examples
telephone
Fix the agreement mistake
telephones
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
, they grow considerably year by year, starting
almost
Change preposition
at almost
show examples
 40 billion for national and international and around 2 billion for
mobiles
Use synonyms
. Domestic and global calls
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 a peak
almost
Change preposition
of almost
show examples
 60
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
mobiles
Use synonyms
 hit a maximum 40 numbers of calls in 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
mobiles
Use synonyms
 are the lowest and the local fixed line is the highest telephone calls. The
mobiles
Use synonyms
 and national and international are increasing steadily
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every year.
However
Linking Words
,
domestic
Add an article
the domestic
a domestic
show examples
 call is fluctuating from 1995-2022.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words mobiles with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • total number of minutes
  • telephone calls
  • categories
  • local – fixed line
  • national and international – fixed line
  • mobiles
  • general trend
  • yearly totals
  • significant changes
  • milestones
  • data
  • rise significantly
  • decline
  • steady increase
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • exponential growth
  • over the period
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