IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people nowadays change career more frequently than ever before while others stick to a single job. What are the advantages and disadvantages of changing career?

#people #change #career #job
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Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 careers more frequently than stick to a single
job
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.There are both merits and demerits, and I think that the benefits are greater than
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,not all aspects of sticking to a single
job
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 are beneficial.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
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 have their own personality.
For example
Linking Words
,if the
job
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 does not apply
them
Change preposition
to them
show examples
 they cannot be interested in their
job
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, and they should encouraged them
make
Add the particle
to make
show examples
 mistakes in their results.That can lead the company to take damage.
Secondly
Linking Words
,personal ability can be reduced.
The personal
Correct article usage
Personal
show examples
 ability needs to develop by
practice
Wrong verb form
practising
show examples
 more and more but if they stick
in
Change preposition
to
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 a single
job
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 they work for
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
jobs
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can lead to
waste
Wrong verb form
wasting
show examples
 their ability.
However
Linking Words
,there are several reasons to
change
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 their career often.First of all, they can find fit
jobs
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.
For example
Linking Words
, they experience a
lot
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 of
jobs
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 which can help to figure
apply
Verb problem
apply
show examples
out what
jobs
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 are fit for them.It can lead to concentrating on their
jobs
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 and companies can improve by them.
In addition
Linking Words
, they can improve social skills by making relationships with others.If they
change
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 careers a
lot
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,they can have the opportunity to make relationships with new
people
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.
For example
Linking Words
,they can have a
lot
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 of information for them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and helps to improve themselves. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
stick
Wrong verb form
sticking
show examples
 to a single
job
Use synonyms
 can improve their working skills and can be beneficial, I believe that the advantages are greater than the disadvantages.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
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 should experience a
lot
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 of
jobs
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 and
change
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 their
apply
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
 for them
Submitted by yskim3064 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that states the main idea of the paragraph. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay and ensure that it is easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific fields or industries where changing jobs might be more advantageous. This can make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
Work on developing your ideas more fully. Instead of making general statements, dive deeper into each point to explore the implications and significance more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation. Small errors, such as missing spaces after commas and incorrect word choices, can distract the reader and detract from the overall quality of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good frame for your discussion.
task achievement
You have addressed both advantages and disadvantages of changing careers, showing a balanced approach to the topic.
task achievement
The essay does touch on some important points, such as the importance of personal fit and the development of social skills through changing careers.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career transition
  • job satisfaction
  • income potential
  • network expansion
  • skill set diversification
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • job security
  • retraining cost
  • career progression
  • high-demand field
  • employment instability
  • professional development
  • industry experience
  • job market
  • employer perception
  • career ladder
  • commitment
  • reliability
What to do next:
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