In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In earlier times, shopping was viewed as

necessary

Correct article usage

a necessary

show examples

domestic responsibility, but today, many

people

Use synonyms

consider it a leisure activity. I believe

this

Linking Words

has both positive and negative aspects. On the one hand, shopping as a

hobby

Use synonyms

can be an enjoyable social activity, but

on the other hand

Linking Words

, it may lead to unhealthy consumer habits.

Firstly

Linking Words

, shopping

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

become more than just purchasing essentials. It is now a way for

people

Use synonyms

to relax. Many individuals enjoy going to shopping

centrs

Correct your spelling

centres

not only to buy things, but

also

Linking Words

to spend time with friends or family.

In addition

Linking Words

, retail environments have evolved, offering options like cafes, cinemas, and events.

This

Linking Words

has made shopping more of an experience rather than just a task.

As a result

Linking Words

, it can positively contribute to mental well-being by providing a fun and engaging break from daily routines.

However

Linking Words

, despite its social benefits, shopping as a

hobby

Use synonyms

can lead to negative consequences,

such

Linking Words

as overspending. With easy access to online shopping and marketing strategies,

people

Use synonyms

can develop a habit of buying

item

Fix the agreement mistake

items

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. they do not need.

This

Linking Words

not only

create

Change the verb form

creates

show examples

financial stress but

also

Linking Words

contributes to materialism and waste.

Furthermore

Linking Words

overconsume

Wrong verb form

overconsuming

show examples

negatively impacts the environment by increasing demand for products and resources, leading to more pollution and waste production. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

shopping has transitioned from

simple

Correct article usage

a simple

show examples

household task to a

hobby

Use synonyms

for many

people

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

trend has both positive and negative implications. On the positive side, it

offer

Change the verb form

offers

show examples

asocial and enjoyable

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

that can improve

well being

Add a hyphen

well-being

show examples

. On the negative side, it can promote overspending and environmental harm.

Therefore

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

shopping as a

hobby

Use synonyms

can be beneficial in moderation, it is important to remain mindful of

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

potential drawbacks.

KawasakiSun Sep 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar

Work on improving sentence structures and grammar. There are several grammatical errors such as subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'shopping has become,' 'many individuals enjoy,' 'item that. they do not need') that need to be corrected for a higher score.

example analysis

Although the essay introduces the main points well, it needs more specific examples and deeper analysis to enhance the arguments. For instance, providing concrete examples of overspending or specific ways it harms the environment can strengthen your argument.

conclusion improvement

The essay's conclusion summarizes the main points, but could be stronger by tying back the implications to the thesis more explicitly. This would make for a more cohesive argument.

balance of arguments

The essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of shopping as a hobby, showing a balanced view.

structure

The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framework for the essay.

relevant themes

The essay touches on relevant themes like mental well-being, consumer behavior, and environmental impact, which are pertinent to the topic.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

consumerism
retail therapy
materialism
disposable income
economic growth
financial instability
environmental impact
social interaction
community building
emotional satisfaction
advertising influence
shopping habits

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
You recently organised an all-day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participants at the meeting said that they liked the hotel, but they were unhappy about the food that was served for lunch. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter • say what the participants liked about the hotel • explain why they were unhappy about the food • suggest what the manager should do to improve the food in future
I am writing to you about the business meeting which I had at your hotel last week. All the participants agreed with the hotel seating arrangements as well as the size of the sitting chairs. Besides that, the lighting arrangement was also fascinating as all the staff members appreciated it.
6
band
Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?
A number of foods come from remote areas for the advantage of trade. Many people consider that this is not a needed thing due to they explain that the consumption of local food is more beneficial for the community. From my point of view, there are both advantages and disadvantages to this matter. In this essay, I will provide my perspective in the following paragraphs.
7
band
Some people think it is more important to plant more tree in open areas in towns and cities than provide more housing. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Although this may be true: Although this may be true, there are still other factors we need to consider before making a decision. Although this may be true, it doesn’t mean that the alternative options are entirely without merit. In contrast: In contrast to last year’s sales figures, this year has shown significant improvement. The city is bustling and noisy; in contrast, the countryside is quiet and peaceful. Different from: Her approach is different from what we usually do, but it might be more effective. The new design is different from the old one, focusing more on simplicity and user experience. Of course, but: Of course, you can stay longer, but you need to let us know in advance. Of course, he’s talented, but he still needs to put in the effort to succeed. On the other hand: She loves the city life; on the other hand, she sometimes misses the tranquility of her hometown. The plan seems risky; on the other hand, it could lead to great rewards if successful. At the same time: S...
6
band
In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way why is this? do you think it is positive or negative development?
Recently, the company has stressed that its product is the latest in many aspects of its advertisement. It is often agreed by many that ads are one of the best media to introduce products to customers. In my opinion, advertising company should not only improve their campaign strategy instead of elevate the quality of their goods. This essay will address the positive side of the writer’s view.
7
band
On a recent holiday you lost a valuable item. Fortunately, you have travel insurance to cover the cost of anything lost. Write a letter to the manager of your insurance company. In your letter describe the item you lost explain how you lost it tell the insurance company what you would like them to do
I hope you are doing amazing in your life. I am writing this letter to inform you about the misplacement of my bag while travelling. I did my travel insurance through your company before my vacation. So, I would like a solution to this problem from your company.

In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people think it is more important to plant more tree in open areas in towns and cities than provide more housing. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way why is this? do you think it is positive or negative development?