In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?
In earlier times, shopping was viewed as
necessary
domestic responsibility, but today, many Correct article usage
a necessary
people
consider it a leisure activity. I believe this
has both positive and negative aspects. On the one hand, shopping as a hobby
can be an enjoyable social activity, but on the other hand
, it may lead to unhealthy consumer habits.
Firstly
, shopping have
become more than just purchasing essentials. It is now a way for Change the verb form
has
people
to relax. Many individuals enjoy going to shopping centrs
not only to buy things, but Correct your spelling
centres
also
to spend time with friends or family. In addition
, retail environments have evolved, offering options like cafes, cinemas, and events. This
has made shopping more of an experience rather than just a task. As a result
, it can positively contribute to mental well-being by providing a fun and engaging break from daily routines.
However
, despite its social benefits, shopping as a hobby
can lead to negative consequences, such
as overspending. With easy access to online shopping and marketing strategies, people
can develop a habit of buying item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
that
. they do not need. Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
not only create
financial stress but Change the verb form
creates
also
contributes to materialism and waste. Furthermore
, overconsume
negatively impacts the environment by increasing demand for products and resources, leading to more pollution and waste production.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
overconsuming
while
shopping has transitioned from simple
household task to a Correct article usage
a simple
hobby
for many people
, this
trend has both positive and negative implications. On the positive side, it offer
asocial and enjoyable Change the verb form
offers
activity
that can improve Fix the agreement mistake
activities
well being
. On the negative side, it can promote overspending and environmental harm. Add a hyphen
well-being
Therefore
, while
shopping as a hobby
can be beneficial in moderation, it is important to remain mindful of this
potential drawbacks.Correct determiner usage
these
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grammar
Work on improving sentence structures and grammar. There are several grammatical errors such as subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'shopping has become,' 'many individuals enjoy,' 'item that. they do not need') that need to be corrected for a higher score.
example analysis
Although the essay introduces the main points well, it needs more specific examples and deeper analysis to enhance the arguments. For instance, providing concrete examples of overspending or specific ways it harms the environment can strengthen your argument.
conclusion improvement
The essay's conclusion summarizes the main points, but could be stronger by tying back the implications to the thesis more explicitly. This would make for a more cohesive argument.
balance of arguments
The essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of shopping as a hobby, showing a balanced view.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framework for the essay.
relevant themes
The essay touches on relevant themes like mental well-being, consumer behavior, and environmental impact, which are pertinent to the topic.