Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

In the
last
decade, it
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
extremely difficult for
people
to meet someone.
However
,
these day
Change the determiner
this day
these days
show examples
,
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
development of social
media
, all of us can keep in touch with friends and update
tops
Fix the agreement mistake
top
show examples
of news and events easily. In my opinion, I assume that the pros of social
media
outweigh the cons
due to
social
media
not only
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
show examples
time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
humalife
Correct your spelling
humanity
become better and
quickly
Correct quantifier usage
more quickly
show examples
.
To begin
with, there are two reasons why the benefits of social
media
outweigh the drawbacks. First of all,
instead
of
spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
numerous time
to meet
Change the verb form
meeting
show examples
friends face to face,
people
can contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their partner more
convinient
Correct your spelling
conveniently
and quickly.
For example
, in covid-19
panamic
Correct your spelling
panoramic
pandemic
, everyone cannot go out,
therefore
, using social
media
is the only way to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
.
Moreover
, in the past, meeting
people
in different nations
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
very hard,
nevertheless
, these days, it become easier.
Secondly
, social
media
also
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
someone in
emergecy
Correct your spelling
emergency
cases. Because it always
update
Change the verb form
updates
show examples
tops of news, some
indiviuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
who stay in
emergey
Correct your spelling
emergency
cases may have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
to help.
On the other hand
, social
media
have some drawbacks
according to
some
people
.
Firstly
, the relationship between two
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
may break up.
Due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of
communicate
Replace the word
communication
show examples
offline, it is so difficult to get close relationships or
breaking
Wrong verb form
break
show examples
up.
In addition
, social
media
also
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
some negative problems about identity theft.
People
when
Correct word choice
who
show examples
use social
media
will provide their personal information. If they do not check and secure, someone could have stolen your personal information and racked up debts or committed fraud- all with your name on it. In conclusion, I think that the advantages of social
media
outweigh the disadvantages
according
Add the preposition
according to
show examples
the
convinent
Correct your spelling
convenient
continent
and quickly of social
media
.
However
, customer need to use it carefully, unless their information will
be steal
Change the verb form
be stolen
show examples
.
Submitted by nguyenhoanganhquan918 on

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grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy, such as subject-verb agreement and correct usage of prepositions. Pay attention to articles ('a', 'an', 'the').
vocabulary
Enhance vocabulary to include more complex and varied word choices that precisely convey your ideas.
task response
Develop ideas more fully with relevant, specific examples and detailed explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Work on logical progression of ideas to ensure each paragraph flows smoothly and stays focused on a single main idea.
task response
The essay provides clear points supporting both the advantages and disadvantages of social media.
structure
The writer makes a good effort to include an introduction and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instantaneous communication
  • geographical barriers
  • information hub
  • breaking news
  • educational content
  • professional networking
  • industry experts
  • community support
  • privacy infringement
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • mental wellbeing
  • social comparison
  • online validation
  • cyberbullying
  • detriments
  • vulnerable individuals
What to do next:
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