IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests comma and whether they are married or single. some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests #comma
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The
essentials
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essential
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 method of working
any
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in any
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industries
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industry
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company
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 part of your
life
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. working is a source of your wealth for your future and present personal stuff to handle. But
aso
Correct your spelling
as
also
 you're capable for
this
Linking Words
 job and being able to perform both the personal things and professional level of
work
Use synonyms
 to do in simultaneously. On the one hand, Some people educate themself to get a position in their
life
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 where they study
a
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for a
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period of 15 years to achieve the
postion
Correct your spelling
position
.
For instance
Linking Words
, giving
a
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an
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 interview
on
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with
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 well-known
company
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 they ask you about your personal
life
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 questions, which
contain
Correct subject-verb agreement
contains
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 your passions,
love-
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love life
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life
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,
Correct word choice
and goal
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goal
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goals
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 after getting the
jobs
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job
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. So,
prepared
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prepare
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 yourself to able to go through
this
Linking Words
type
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 of
qquestion
Correct your spelling
question
questions
. In 1984, USA california university
providing
Wrong verb form
provided
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a facilities
Correct the article-noun agreement
a facility
facilities
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 where study
got
Verb problem
apply
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a 4-5
months
Fix the agreement mistake
month
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 project to prepare every
type
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 of
question
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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they going to
response
Replace the word
respond
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on
Change preposition
to in
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 their interview. So,
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 eras have many
option
Change to a plural noun
options
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 to build their
life
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 and
achieved
Wrong verb form
achieve
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 their aim.
On the other hand
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, asking
the
Correct article usage
apply
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irrelevant questions which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 off the subject is not
worthable
Correct your spelling
worthwhile
 for the candidate because they studied
many
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for many
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 years to get
this
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 position and
this
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type
Use synonyms
 of
question
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distract
Correct subject-verb agreement
distracts
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 the mind. so, better to ask
to
Change preposition
apply
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the related
question
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 which
is sue
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issue
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 for the
company
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. imagine,
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company
Add an article
the company
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 ask the personal stuff and all. but the
Use synonyms
work related
Add a hyphen
work-related
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question
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forget
Wrong verb form
forgot
show examples
 to ask. and
then
Linking Words
 the employee
start
Change the verb form
starts
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 the
work
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 but he/she
don't
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doesn't
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 know how to run the code and any
type
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 of technical
work
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 to execute. it's
only
Correct article usage
the only
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 one who
get
Change the verb form
gets
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 the damage which is
Use synonyms
company
Correct article usage
the company
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 because they have to
slove
Correct your spelling
solve
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this
Linking Words
 problem now. So, In my point
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
view
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 candidate
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to learn both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
skills because if you're good
to communicate
Change preposition
at communicating
show examples
 and
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 have acknowledgement to perform your skills.
furthermore
Linking Words
, industries HR always ask both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
question
Fix the agreement mistake
questions
show examples
 and know everything about the candidate because they are going to
work
Use synonyms
 in your
company
Use synonyms
 and the future manager
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 so on.
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coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your ideas more logically. Make a clear outline before writing to ensure your ideas flow logically.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your main points are supported with clear and relevant examples. This will help to strengthen your arguments.
task response
Try to avoid grammatical mistakes and improve sentence structures. This will aid the reader’s understanding of your ideas.
task response
Expand your vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and effectively.
task response
You have made an effort to discuss both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.
task response
You included some examples and personal insights, which added value to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • team dynamics
  • organizational culture
  • work-life balance
  • collaborative environments
  • bias
  • discrimination
  • conscious or unconscious bias
  • privacy concerns
  • personal boundaries
  • professional abilities
  • skills, qualifications, and experience
  • legal and ethical considerations
  • divert attention
  • significant professional attributes
  • relevant to the job
What to do next:
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