IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view.

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According to
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 some people, a
person
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 can improve his intellectuality when he works in a
group
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. I completely agree with
this
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 statement because working in a
group
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 allows someone to share his
potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
show examples
 with
others
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, identify his mistakes and become respectful
to
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of
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 the
opinion
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opinions
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 of
others
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. Working in a
team
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 is more beneficial than working individually. When someone works in a
group
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, he gets the
opportunities
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
show examples
 to share his knowledge and experiences with
others
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. It
also
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 helps him to learn about the knowledge of
others
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 and identify his shortcomings. Learning about shortcomings can help him to identify his mistakes and become a good professional.
For example
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, in 2023, a survey
on
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in
show examples
 the UK
,
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apply
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 has declared that a
person
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 can become more self-aware if he works in a
team
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 rather than working individually.
Moreover
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, working in a
team
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 makes someone a good human being. He learns to listen, understand and respect the opinions of
others
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,
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apply
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 and can express his ones. He understands how to act professionally and express
own
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his own
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 feelings without hurting
others
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.
Therefore
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, working in a
group
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 eventually makes him a good professional and a good human being.
For instance
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,
an
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apply
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academic research on the UK
profesionals
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professionals
 illustrated that people who generally work in a
team
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 can perform well in the offices than their counterparts who do not work in a
team
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. In conclusion, working in a
team
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 can help a
person
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 to grow professionally and personally. It helps a
person
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 in many ways. A
person
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 identifies his mistakes and can become a better professional.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic, and your arguments are easy to follow. However, try to provide more concrete examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and provide a better foundation for your claims.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are generally well-organized, with a decent flow from one paragraph to the next. However, be careful of slight repetition; try to introduce new points or elaborations to avoid redundancy.
introduction conclusion
You have provided a clear introduction and a concise conclusion that effectively sums up your arguments.
logical structure
You used logical reasoning to explain your points, and the essay maintains a consistent line of thought throughout.
supported main points
Your arguments about teamwork fostering respect and professional growth are compelling and well-presented.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • intellectual skills
  • group activities
  • collaborative learning
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • communication
  • interpersonal skills
  • diverse perspectives
  • creativity
  • individual study
  • personal reflection
  • autonomy
  • learning styles
  • approaches
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