IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view.

#people #person #skills #group #activities
According to
 some people, a
person
 can improve his intellectuality when he works in a
group
. I completely agree with
this
 statement because working in a
group
 allows someone to share his
potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
show examples
 with
others
, identify his mistakes and become respectful
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 of
others
. Working in a
team
 is more beneficial than working individually. When someone works in a
group
, he gets the
opportunities
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
show examples
 to share his knowledge and experiences with
others
. It
also
 helps him to learn about the knowledge of
others
 and identify his shortcomings. Learning about shortcomings can help him to identify his mistakes and become a good professional.
For example
, in 2023, a survey
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the UK
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 has declared that a
person
 can become more self-aware if he works in a
team
 rather than working individually.
Moreover
, working in a
team
 makes someone a good human being. He learns to listen, understand and respect the opinions of
others
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and can express his ones. He understands how to act professionally and express
own
Correct pronoun usage
his own
show examples
 feelings without hurting
others
.
Therefore
, working in a
group
 eventually makes him a good professional and a good human being.
For instance
,
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
academic research on the UK
profesionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
 illustrated that people who generally work in a
team
 can perform well in the offices than their counterparts who do not work in a
team
. In conclusion, working in a
team
 can help a
person
 to grow professionally and personally. It helps a
person
 in many ways. A
person
 identifies his mistakes and can become a better professional.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic, and your arguments are easy to follow. However, try to provide more concrete examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and provide a better foundation for your claims.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are generally well-organized, with a decent flow from one paragraph to the next. However, be careful of slight repetition; try to introduce new points or elaborations to avoid redundancy.
introduction conclusion
You have provided a clear introduction and a concise conclusion that effectively sums up your arguments.
logical structure
You used logical reasoning to explain your points, and the essay maintains a consistent line of thought throughout.
supported main points
Your arguments about teamwork fostering respect and professional growth are compelling and well-presented.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • intellectual skills
  • group activities
  • collaborative learning
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • communication
  • interpersonal skills
  • diverse perspectives
  • creativity
  • individual study
  • personal reflection
  • autonomy
  • learning styles
  • approaches
What to do next:
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