Now a days, many families move overseas for job oppotunities. some people think this is beneficial for the children of these families while others think children will find it difficult. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In
this
modern world, a number of families are moving abroad for greener pastures and to some
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
an advantage for their
kids
although
others think they will find it hard.
While
it is not easy to adapt to the new environment, I believe
children
will have greater opportunities if they grow and learn in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
foreign land. On the one hand, relocating to another
country
with the whole family can be very difficult for
children
. They find it very hard to fit in and be accepted as equal
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the citizens of that particular
country
and
this
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
their emotional well-being.
For instance
, there is the issue of racism in most countries especially if
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
black people in the white people's land.
Kids
face a lot of bullying and they feel very different whenever they are playing with other
kids
which is very disturbing and can cause social isolation.
In addition
, it is not easy for them to get equal benefits that other citizens can get from the state
such
as free education and
children
discounts when attending
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
certain events.
On the other hand
, some families think
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
the best to move overseas with the
kids
as there are greater opportunities for them out there.
For instance
, they can get
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
education which can prepare them to work in any
country
and they get to specialize
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
what they are interested in.
Moreso
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
, they will have bigger chances of getting good jobs as they will have the required grades of that region or continent and there is no need for them to go through the stressful process of applying for a work visa. I think
this
is very important as the major goal of moving abroad is to look for jobs and have better income and
this
is a bonus for the
kids
. In conclusion,
although
children
will find it stressful and difficult to adapt to the new environment and engage with new people in the foreign
country
, I believe they have so
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
benefits
such
as good education and job opportunities.
Submitted by sisalt100 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Try to provide more balanced examples in both body paragraphs to strengthen your arguments. For instance, alongside highlighting issues such as racism, mentioning integration programs might provide a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure grammatical accuracy and use transitions effectively to enhance coherence. For example, instead of "Moreso," you can use "Moreover" for a smoother flow.
task response
Strong introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your opinion and summarizing points effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Logical structure is well-maintained with clear division into introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
Relevant specific examples provided to support your points, such as issues of racism and benefits of better education.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: