Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
globalized era,
climate
changes are booming day by day. Some people contend that we should try to
ajust
Correct your spelling
adjust
just
are self
Verb problem
ourselves
show examples
in
this
environmental change, rather than looking for some feasible solutions. I
am totally disagree
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totally disagree
show examples
with
this
argument and in
this
essay, I am going to provide the reasons why I
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
opine that we should save our environment.
To begin
with, there are numerous reasons
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why individuals ought to give
periority
Correct your spelling
priority
to
climate
change. First and foremost, globalization is one of the major cause of
climate
change and globalization
cause
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causes
show examples
a plethora of harmful issues to
human's
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human
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life
such
as sea levels
are
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apply
show examples
climbing. A recent survey conducted by Time News of India in which they indicated the sea level in
Munbai
Correct your spelling
Mumbai
is
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apply
show examples
increased by 10% in 2022
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
then
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than
show examples
in 2019,
therefore
it becoming
a
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an
show examples
alarming alert for not only
human
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humans
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but other living
creature
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creatures
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as well.
Additionally
, another important
concerns
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concern
show examples
is
a
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apply
show examples
human health.
To
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For
show examples
example
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
, Nowadays people are more unhealthy
then
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than
show examples
ever before. One of the significant reasons behind
this
all
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is all
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different
Correct article usage
the different
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kinds of pollution which cause
acountable
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accountable
health related
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health-related
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issues. For
instances
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instance
show examples
, a university
of
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in
show examples
New York wrote an article in which they conducted the number of heart problems rosed significantly. In a nutshell, there is no doubt that a human being needs development for
their
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a
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better future.
However
, a good
climate
has its priceless value which cannot be replaced by any cost. Henceforth, local people and government should need to find some suitable solutions to control
this
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these
show examples
threatening concerns.
Submitted by taniamall786 on

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accuracy
There are frequent spelling and grammatical errors which often make the text difficult to understand. One such issue is the frequent confusion between verb forms (e.g., 'adjust are self' should be 'adjust ourselves'). These errors can significantly affect the clarity of the argument being made.
clarity
The writer includes some specific examples, but they could be clearer and more directly supportive of the main points. For example, the survey figures about sea levels could be better integrated into the argument to highlight the dangers of climate change.
structure
The essay could benefit from a more logical structure, with each paragraph clearly focusing on a single main point. The ideas within paragraphs should flow in a more organized manner to aid readability.
introduction
The introduction clearly states the writer's position on the topic, making it straightforward for the reader to understand the stance being taken.
conclusion
The conclusion succinctly restates the writer's argument, providing a clear ending to the essay.
examples
The essay includes some relevant specific examples, such as the survey conducted by the 'Time News of India,' which help to support the argument being made.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • prevent
  • adaptation
  • mitigation
  • cope with
  • effects
  • shift
  • mindset
  • lifestyle
  • balance
  • invest
  • research
  • technology
  • crucial
  • education
  • awareness
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