You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. You should write at least 150 words.
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The graph below provides information about the
outshied
Correct your spelling
outside
outshined
leisure activities of
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
in Australian activities.
Boys
Use synonyms
and
girls
Use synonyms
experienced an upward trend
during
Change preposition
while
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
watching TV and videos,
while
Linking Words
girls
Use synonyms
Showed a downward trend during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
skateboarding and rollerblading.
Although
Linking Words
boys
Use synonyms
initially
Linking Words
had a lower rate in
art
Fix the agreement mistake
arts
show examples
and
craft
Fix the agreement mistake
crafts
show examples
, they outraced
girls
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bike riding. In skateboarding or rollerblading
Boys
Use synonyms
age
Wrong verb form
aged
show examples
from 5-14 rates
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
about 48%. Being higher than
girls
Use synonyms
age from 5-14 rates of approximately 25%.
However
Linking Words
, the figure increased gradually to around 100
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in watching TV or Videos . And continued to decline steadily in the art and craft activities. Reaching around 78%
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in bike riding and hitting a low point of about 37% in electronic or computer games.
Girls
Use synonyms
age
Wrong verb form
aged
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5-14 rate made up about 22%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
skateboarding or rollerblading .
Then
Linking Words
it increased gradually to almost 100
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
at watching
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
or Videos.
However
Linking Words
, The green bar dropped steadily at bike riding
around
Change preposition
by around
show examples
59
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it rose slightly about 60
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
electronic or computer games. And surpassed the
boys
Use synonyms
around
Change preposition
by around
show examples
59
percent
Use synonyms
in
art
Fix the agreement mistake
arts
show examples
and
craft
Fix the agreement mistake
crafts
show examples
.
Submitted by 13788542 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls, percent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure activities
  • popularity
  • participated
  • outdoor activities
  • electronic entertainment
  • gender differences
  • age trends
  • artistic activities
  • cultural trends
  • educational influence
  • group activities
  • individual activities
  • social skills
  • comparison over time
  • statistics
  • surprising findings
What to do next:
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