You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. You should write at least 150 words.
The graph below provides information about the
outshied
leisure activities of Correct your spelling
outside
outshined
children's
in Australian activities.
Change noun form
children
Boys
and Use synonyms
girls
experienced an upward trend Use synonyms
during
Change preposition
while
the
watching TV and videos, Correct article usage
apply
while
Linking Words
girls
Showed a downward trend during Use synonyms
the
skateboarding and rollerblading. Correct article usage
apply
Although
Linking Words
boys
Use synonyms
initially
had a lower rate in Linking Words
art
and Fix the agreement mistake
arts
craft
, they outraced Fix the agreement mistake
crafts
girls
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
the
bike riding.
In skateboarding or rollerblading Correct article usage
apply
Boys
Use synonyms
age
from 5-14 rates Wrong verb form
aged
was
about 48%. Being higher than Correct subject-verb agreement
were
girls
age from 5-14 rates of approximately 25%.
Use synonyms
However
, the figure increased gradually to around 100 Linking Words
Use synonyms
percent
in watching TV or Videos . And continued to decline steadily in the art and craft activities.
Reaching around 78% Change the spelling
per cent
Use synonyms
percent
in bike riding and hitting a low point of about 37% in electronic or computer games.
Change the spelling
per cent
Girls
Use synonyms
age
Wrong verb form
aged
from
5-14 rate made up about 22% Change preposition
apply
in
skateboarding or rollerblading . Change preposition
of
Then
it increased gradually to almost 100 Linking Words
Use synonyms
percent
at watching Change the spelling
per cent
Tv
or Videos.
Correct your spelling
TV
However
, The green bar dropped steadily at bike riding Linking Words
around
59 Change preposition
by around
Use synonyms
percent
.
Change the spelling
per cent
Moreover
, it rose slightly about 60 Linking Words
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
at
electronic or computer games. And surpassed the Change preposition
for
boys
Use synonyms
around
59 Change preposition
by around
percent
in Use synonyms
art
and Fix the agreement mistake
arts
craft
.Fix the agreement mistake
crafts
Submitted by 13788542 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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