There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
At present,the pressure on youth rapidly increasing to
successful
in academic life. Because, some people argue that elective Add a missing verb
be successful
subjects
like physical education
and cookery, should not be included in the school syllabus so children are able to focus on academic subjects
.This
essay agrees with this
statement because pupils have sufficient time
to work on academic subjects
and their motivation
for studies will be increased.
To begin
, across the globe,students
will be provided more time
for academic subjects
.It will allow to
focus on a specific subject matter rather than wasting Correct pronoun usage
me to
time
on other elective subjects
like cookery and sports.Accordingly
, pupils are able to succeed in their academic life.For instance
, recent research concluded that the majority of south
Asian Capitalize word
South
education
systems more focus on academic subject
than other activities.
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
Furthermore
,the level of motivation
always
at Add a missing verb
is always
peak
level of Add an article
a peak
the peak
students
who concentrate on education
rather than non-educationeducation
activities. At present Correct your spelling
non-education education
students
would prefer to attach to one specific matter than several things because the interest towards it is always high.As a result
, they always
fond of it and pay more attention to it.Add a missing verb
are always
Accordingly
, they would able
to successfully achieve their life goals.Add a missing verb
be able
For instance
, according to
a recent paper article ,the majority of school students
who learn both academic and non-academic subjects
' motivation
towards education
is lower compared to a student who studies only academic subjects
.
To conclude
, avoiding not academic subjects
to
the school syllabus will enable Change preposition
in
students
to utilize the time
for more academic subjects
and increase their motivation
of students
.Submitted by aravindasajith on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position and briefly outlines the main arguments, making it easy for the reader to follow.
coherence cohesion
The essay concludes with a summary of the points discussed, reinforcing the main arguments presented.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!