The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in new zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selcting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #sales #sectors #zealand #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The pie chart below illustrates New Zealand's inline shopping

sales

for several

sectors

in 2003 and 2013.

Overall

, it is clearly seen that in New Zealands'online online shops in 2003, the film/music and books

sectors

occupied only 40% of all

sales

However

, in 2013 are occupied nearly 55% of all online shops. Getting back to the details, online

sales

for retail

sectors

in 2003, the travel sector shared about 36 per cent of the market and had a leading position compared with other retail

sectors

, in 2013, travel

sales

had slightly decreased to 7% and eventually, film/music trend

sales

had grown for 12% and take a lead in 2013.

Moreover

, in 2003, book vending was expanding by only 19% of all

sales

which was at the bottom of the

sales

between retail

sectors

Furthermore

, after 10 years, the book

sales

index grew slightly and took nearly 22% of all market

sales

. Regarding the chart, 2003's clothes

sales

share was 24%.

Nevertheless

, in 10 years,

this

number decreased by 8 per cent which is 16%

To sum up

, most people used to buy travel goods in New Zealand in 2003, despite

this

, in 2013, most people were buying film/music goods.

Submitted by berlinastanalll on Tue Sep 10 2024

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, sectors with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

199 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in new zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selcting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Schools concentrate far too much on traditional subjects which do not adequately prepare students for the realistic demainds of the modern working world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?