The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that the working week should be shorter and employers should have longer holidays.
This
essay totally disagrees with that statement. I believe that longer weekends have bad sides such
as decreasing incomes and improving the laziness
of all workers.
First of all, if working weeks are shorter, then
they will not work enough time
. Furthermore
, they will not get enough salaries. For example
, my friend’s dad. He is an accountant. Firstly
, he worked enough time
, about 6 hours on weekdays every day. But, then
his manager said that the government cut their workdays to 3 days. Initially
, he was happy, however
, he did not know that he would have lower incomes. So, in the end
he suffered a lot from less money.
In my opinion, the second reason for my disagreement with that statement is Add a comma
end,
laziness
. All workers will be happy,
if their workdays are cut down. Because, they will employ less than usual, but Remove the comma
apply
then
they will suffer from laziness
. They do not want to do anything, even little housework such
as cleaning and vacuuming. For instance
, my elder brother’s boss decreased his time
of job due to
his very good creativity. His boss thought that he should not think most of the time
, so the boss gave him less
weekdays. But, in the end, my brother ended up losing Change the quantifier
fewer
job
, because he was so lazy that he did not even go to his job even on his weekdays.
In conclusion, for a high percentage of the population, cutting down on working weeks and increasing weekends are less important than working with usual Correct pronoun usage
his job
time
because of less
salaries and Correct word choice
lower
laziness
of workers.Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on
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task achievement
Try to provide more balance in your argument by considering both sides of the debate, even if you ultimately disagree with the other side. This will demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using more transitional phrases can help to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant, try to include some additional supporting points to strengthen your main arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and thorough.
language and grammar
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases to make your writing clearer and more polished.
task achievement
Your introduction is clear and provides a good indication of your stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position.
task achievement
The essay provides some relevant examples to support the main points, which enhances the clarity of your arguments.