The chart below shows information about Heart Attacks by Age and Gender in USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. • You should write at least 150 words. • You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

#information #heart #attacks #age #gender #usa #summarise #features #comparisons #minutes

The chart demonstrates data on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

heart

attacks

among

women

and

men

belonging to the different

age

groups in the USA.

Overall

heart

attacks

are more common among

men

rather than

women

Additionally

fewest

Correct article usage

the fewest

show examples

amout

Correct your spelling

amount

of females and males face

this

type of

heart

disease in the 29-44

age

groups,

while

both

women

and

men

have more trouble with their hearts in the

age

of 65+. The minimum of

this

chart is observed in the

age

group of 29-44 in both genders,

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

women

have

heart

Correct quantifier usage

more heart

show examples

attacks

less

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

than

men

, particularly 3

thousand

and 123

thousand

respectively.

Moreover

heart

attacks

become more widespread among dwellers of the USA as they get older.

This

trend can be seen in the

age

groups of 45-64 and 65+.

Women

have more

heart

attacks

in 45-64, exactly 136

thousand

, which means that their quantity increased by 133

thousand

. The upward trend is observed among

men

too, 424

thousand

men

face

heart

attacks

when they are between 45

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct word choice

and 64

show examples

. It

also

should be mentioned that the maximum of

this

chart is 440

thousand

men

aged 65 and higher suffering from

heart

attacks

furthermore

, the least difference between amount of people from both genders is seen in the same

age

group.

Submitted by i.nureddinn on Tue Sep 10 2024

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words heart, attacks, women, men, age, thousand with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

204 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

occurrence
prevalence
age group
gender disparities
notable trends
significant
comparison
discrepancies
patterns
statistics
demographics
rate of incidence
proportion

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