The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in new zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selcting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #sales #sectors #zealand #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The pie charts

illustrates

Change the verb form

illustrate

show examples

the information that retail sector's online

sales

in New Zealand

such

travel

, film, books and clothes in various two

perios

Correct your spelling

periods

period

2003

amd

Correct your spelling

and

2013

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

Units are measured by percentage.

Overall

, it can be seen that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

travel

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

film and music online shopping

sales

were

Verb problem

had

show examples

the highest

sales

ratio. In detail,

travel

online shopping

sales

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

the highest

sales

than books in 2003, at 36% and just below a fifth respectively, but

travel

decreased by 7 per cent and books

sales

increased by 4% in 2013.

Furthermore

, films and music's online

sales

had just above a fifth in 2003 but it increased significantly in 2013, which is a third and it was the highest

sales

in 2013 than other products.

In contrast

, clothing

sales

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

decreased as compared to the previous period, just below a quarter in 2003 but it decreased by 8 per cent in 2013.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Tue Sep 10 2024

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, travel with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

150 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in new zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selcting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The education of young people is a top priority in all countries of the world. Some people believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is important to society and need more funding. What extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Personal experiences in community service and/or involvement

Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificial intelligence robots.

Many governments think that economic progress is the most important goal.some people however think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.