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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the inforamtion by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the inforamtion by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#change #prices #three #metals #summarise #inforamtion #features #comparisons
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The line graph compares the amount of
price
Use synonyms
 variation of three different materials in each month during 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 nickel
price
Use synonyms
 has more changing over
months
Correct article usage
the months
show examples
 shown,
while
Linking Words
 the
price
Use synonyms
 of copper had a
limitation
Replace the word
limited
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 range of variation. All three materials had stable
Use synonyms
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
during
Change preposition
from
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 July till September. In January, the
price
Use synonyms
 of nickel was
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 level, but it collapsed dramatically to a minimum point in June .After that, it increased slowly until the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
 and
touch
Wrong verb form
touched
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the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
price
Use synonyms
 about 5% lower than the
price
Use synonyms
 at the beginning of the year. The
price
Use synonyms
 of Copper and zinc started lower than nickel at the beginning of the year. Both of them had a fluctuating trend. Zinc experienced the highest
price
Use synonyms
 in February with 2% growth
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 with the beginning
price
Use synonyms
 ,
however
Linking Words
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period its
price
Use synonyms
 was 1% more than the first
ones
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Copper
Add an article
the Copper
show examples
price
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
showed
show examples
 a downward trend till May and June and after that grew gently and
became
Verb problem
apply
show examples
finally
Linking Words
 0.5% lower than the beginning
price
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by n.fallahi327 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words price with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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