Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause?What are the solutions?
The number of full-time employment older
people
have
been escalating at an increasing rate in today's community, and Correct subject-verb agreement
has
this
situasion
Correct your spelling
situation
lead
to Wrong verb form
has led
a
significant competition with Correct article usage
apply
Correct article usage
the young
young
generations. Correct word choice
younger
This
essay demonstrates fistly
the Correct your spelling
firstly
metters
of Correct your spelling
matters
this
social-economic issue such
as ageing
population and inflation by following an analysis of some suggestions like work Correct article usage
the ageing
divition
of labor to mitigate Correct your spelling
division
the
certain Correct article usage
apply
problem
.
It is Fix the agreement mistake
problems
undeniable
fact that vacant positions have been declining in Correct article usage
an undeniable
a
labour market in recent Correct article usage
the
dacades
Correct your spelling
decades
due to
older people
have
to be Wrong verb form
having
employment
to Replace the word
employed
able
Add a missing verb
be able
pay
their private outcomes Fix the infinitive
to pay
in
these days. On the social aspect Change preposition
apply
due to
the developments in medicine field poeple
have been living longerCorrect your spelling
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
mean
more pensionery across the Change the verb form
means
global
. Replace the word
globe
Thus
, Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
should be forced to Correct your spelling
government
rise
the Correct your spelling
raise
retire
age. The Replace the word
retirement
invatigations
of Correct your spelling
investigations
investigation
Cambrige
University in 2019 predict that in 2050, there Correct your spelling
Cambridge
are
a Wrong verb form
will be
noticible
increase Correct your spelling
noticeable
at
13% in Change preposition
of
older
Correct article usage
the older
people
's ratio and this
Correct determiner usage
these
changes
will Fix the agreement mistake
change
observate
in Correct your spelling
observe
Japon
and Correct your spelling
Japan
Europian
countries. Correct your spelling
European
On the
other aspect is inflation which has Change preposition
The
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
across
all Change preposition
apply
society
since 2008. Losing the purchasing power of money Change preposition
of society
lead
to more challenges for living Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
young
Change preposition
for young
people
, and can not help thier
parents Correct your spelling
their
in
Change preposition
apply
financial
side.
Change the word
financially
Although
this
problem has multifactural
roots there are some steps Correct your spelling
multifactorial
multifactoral
should
be taken by governments to reduce Correct pronoun usage
that should
this
competition in Correct article usage
the long-term
long-term
. Older Correct your spelling
long term
people
have more professional practice in their job. It is irreplaceble
value for development, Correct your spelling
irreplaceable
however
, young people
have more energy and can gain readily new perspectives in any field. Governments should encourage young and old people
to work together for
combat Change preposition
to
this
social-economic conditions and Correct determiner usage
these
maxsimise
benefits.
In Correct your spelling
maximise
maximize
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclution
, Correct your spelling
conclusion
Correct your spelling
albeit
albiet
the competition between the Correct your spelling
albeit
Correct your spelling
elders
olders
and the Correct your spelling
older
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
has
the mentioned reasons from different aspects, Change the verb form
have
this
condition can be tackled with some actions and can change the certain situation to Correct article usage
the advantages
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
for
both sidesChange preposition
of
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language
Try to improve your grammatical accuracy and sentence structures to enhance clarity and readability. For example, 'This essay demonstrates fistly the metters of this social-economic issue...' could be rephrased to 'This essay first discusses the issues such as an aging population and inflation, followed by suggestions like work division of labor to mitigate these problems.'
task achievement
Include more detailed and relevant examples to support your main points. Personal anecdotes, statistical data, or real-life examples can make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure that there's a smooth transition from one point to another. Use transition phrases to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Your essay covers the required points: problems caused by older people competing with younger people for jobs and possible solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and addresses both sides of the issue.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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