Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause?What are the solutions?

#people #employment #jobs

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The number of full-time employment older

people

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

been escalating at an increasing rate in today's community, and

this

situasion

Correct your spelling

situation

lead

Wrong verb form

has led

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

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significant competition with

Correct article usage

the young

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young

Correct word choice

younger

show examples

generations.

This

essay demonstrates

fistly

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firstly

the

metters

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matters

this

social-economic issue

such

ageing

Correct article usage

the ageing

show examples

population and inflation by following an analysis of some suggestions like work

divition

Correct your spelling

division

of labor to mitigate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

certain

problem

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problems

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. It is

undeniable

Correct article usage

an undeniable

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fact that vacant positions have been declining in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

labour market in recent

dacades

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decades

due to

older

people

have

Wrong verb form

having

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to be

employment

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employed

show examples

able

Add a missing verb

be able

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pay

Fix the infinitive

to pay

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their private outcomes

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apply

show examples

these days. On the social aspect

due to

the developments in medicine field

poeple

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people

have been living longer

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

mean

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means

show examples

more pensionery across the

global

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globe

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Thus

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the goverment

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goverment

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government

should be forced to

rise

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raise

show examples

the

retire

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retirement

show examples

age. The

invatigations

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investigations

investigation

Cambrige

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Cambridge

University in 2019 predict that in 2050, there

are

Wrong verb form

will be

show examples

noticible

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noticeable

increase

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show examples

13% in

older

Correct article usage

the older

show examples

people

's ratio and

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

changes

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change

show examples

will

observate

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observe

Japon

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Japan

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and

Europian

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European

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countries.

On the

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The

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other aspect is inflation which has

effected

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affected

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across

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apply

show examples

all

society

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of society

show examples

since 2008. Losing the purchasing power of money

lead

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leads

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to more challenges for living

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

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young

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for young

show examples

people

, and can not help

thier

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their

parents

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apply

show examples

financial

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financially

show examples

side.

Although

this

problem has

multifactural

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multifactorial

multifactoral

roots there are some steps

should

Correct pronoun usage

that should

show examples

be taken by governments to reduce

this

competition in

Correct article usage

the long-term

show examples

long-term

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long term

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. Older

people

have more professional practice in their job. It is

irreplaceble

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irreplaceable

value for development,

however

, young

people

have more energy and can gain readily new perspectives in any field. Governments should encourage young and old

people

to work together

for

Change preposition

show examples

combat

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

social-economic conditions and

maxsimise

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maximise

maximize

benefits. In

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conclusion

conclution

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conclusion

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albeit

albiet

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albeit

the competition between the

Correct your spelling

elders

olders

Correct your spelling

older

and the

youngers

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younger

show examples

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

the mentioned reasons from different aspects,

this

condition can be tackled with some actions and can change the certain situation to

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

advantages

Fix the agreement mistake

advantage

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

both sides

Submitted by i.nureddinn on Tue Sep 10 2024

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language

Try to improve your grammatical accuracy and sentence structures to enhance clarity and readability. For example, 'This essay demonstrates fistly the metters of this social-economic issue...' could be rephrased to 'This essay first discusses the issues such as an aging population and inflation, followed by suggestions like work division of labor to mitigate these problems.'

task achievement

Include more detailed and relevant examples to support your main points. Personal anecdotes, statistical data, or real-life examples can make your arguments more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Work on the logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure that there's a smooth transition from one point to another. Use transition phrases to enhance coherence.

task achievement

Your essay covers the required points: problems caused by older people competing with younger people for jobs and possible solutions.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and addresses both sides of the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
68
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Intergenerational competition
Age discrimination
Adaptability
Hiring practices
Workforce diversity
Upskilling
Lifelong learning
Flexible working arrangements
Ageism
Technological proficiency
Productivity concerns
Diverse skillsets
Legislative protection
Employment equity
Biases

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Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause?What are the solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

More and more people nowadays visit well-known places to take photographs of themselves, without looking at the place. Why do you think this happen? Is it a positive or negative trend?

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen or pencil. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays many people have Access to computers on a wide basis and large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done minimize bad effects?